How to strap on a Strap-On

A users guide for women

Mistress Sidonia von Bork

Okay, before the lesson begins, lots of women are going to be wondering "So whatís in it for me exactly?" Using a strap on is a very aggressive and dominant act. Almost the entire history of female physical sexuality is one of passivity and submissiveness. So when women first consider the idea of using a strap-on they generally come to it with no precedent or understanding. I suppose the best way to explain it is that using a strap on is an acquired taste. At first you are not sure if you really want to try and even when you do youíre not really sure if you like it or not -- yet afterward you start to crave it and within a short time you canít get enough of it! So why not keep an open mind - you might really enjoy it. By strapping on a huge cock you may discover a whole new erotic personality that is just waiting to come out and play.

Firstly, there are physical reasons as a woman you can enjoy using a strap-on such as the rubbing of your genitals, which can be very stimulating. However, one of the most arousing and unexpected pleasures of using a strap-on will be the psychological power and control both wearing and using one brings.

For a woman it is a powerful, aggressive, taking, dominating act. You are breaking open, entering, overtaking and existing inside someone elseís body. A man becomes vulnerable both physically and emotionally. It is an ultimate act of submission and complete surrender where he is sexually overpowered and penetrated. Basically, he is being fucked - a sensation alien to men and the whole precedent of male and female sexual relations. So with this in mind girls, with every thrust, remember it's history youíre changing - that women can enjoy and relish in all the emotions and power associated in fucking.

I personally just adore strutting round wearing a huge phallus it feels so horny and powerful. For me a big turn on is having a man handcuffed and bent over the kitchen table, his trousers down round his ankles. He so wonderfully vulnerable. Iím going to fuck him to give me pleasure. Let me assure you girls your sex life can take on a whole new dynamic.

So, are all the men reading this hurriedly crossing their legs or running off to hide - all under the apprehension that having a silicon cock shoved up their bottoms is really going to hurt? There certainly seems to be a lot of fear and apprehension associated with any kind of anal play. So is it painful for the recipient? Well, with relaxation, desire, patience, communication, and lubrication -- it shouldnít hurt you at all. In fact the anus and rectum are full of sensitive, responsive nerve endings which when stimulated through penetration can be immensely pleasurable and even orgasmic.

The physiology

Our back passages, or to be more precise our arses can be one of our most sensual erogenous zones, but it is one too often feared, forgotten or left unexplored. All right, yes, the arse was not designed for shagging. So itís important to remember that itís very delicate and easy to tear. The arse has no natural lubrication, as unlike the vagina there are no lubrication glands, so itís very easy to rub off the protective mucus membrane and damage the underlining tissue.

The anus is the small, puckered opening controlled by two rings of muscle, an external and internal sphincter. This opening leads to the anal canal and rectum. The walls of the anal canal comprise of tissue similar to that of the clitoris and penis, it becomes engorged from increased blood flow during arousal. Rich in blood vessels and nerve endings the tissue of the anal canal is incredibly sensitive and responsive to touch and stimulation. If itís relaxed it will stretch, if tense it can tear.

When you anally penetrate a man, the dildo will inadvertently simulate his prostate gland. The prostate gland can be found beyond the anal canal and toward the navel. This is the gland that produces seminal fluid that carries sperm into the penis at ejaculation. The prostate contracts to release the fluid, which may explain why many men find it an amazingly pleasurable sensation to have it stimulated. You can also stimulate it with a finger, I can usually only find it when a man is really turned on or before he is about to come. Just place one or two fingers in his anus while he is wanking. Move them up towards his penis until you find a largish soft fleshy ball, which you can partly touch only, this is the prostate gland, which you should rub gently with circular motions. (Just in case your wondering women donít have prostate glands so donít bother hunting round for it.)

What you will need:

Practicalities

Dealing with a tight or virgin anus

If youíre really having problems with a tight little hole that just canít seem to take your cock I would suggest putting it into a training programme. Instruct your partner to wear a small plug for a set period each week. Gradually increase both the size of the plug and the period of time it is worn until you have gently persuade the anal muscle to relax. I went shopping with one of my slaves and together bought a beautiful pink silicon butt-plug from BabesHorny. I placed him on a regime of 4 hours a week, after three months I reduced this to 2 hours. He now has a lovely willing little bottom always ready to service my needs. Although I am not a great lover of Amyl Nitrate, a small amount administered to the recipient immediately before penetration dilates the blood vessels and thus relaxes the muscles helping the anus to open up. You can also buy a number of other anal toys that will all help both eroticise and relax your anal passage. Such as anal beads that can be pulled from the anus at the point of orgasm and vibrators that are excellent for stimulating a prostate gland.

Some men are very apprehensive about having their arses fucked as they think it wonít stretch or will remain open, leaving them incontinent. Be confident with lubrication and patience the anus easily stretches open, itís quite amazing what it can take. And be assured that afterwards it will always close properly.

Obviously with such a potentially messy part of the body itís essential that the submissive try to ensure that they empty their bowels before engaging in anal sex. Firstly having a nice clean back passage is much more appealing to your partner and will make the whole process less messy but it will also make the experience feel more comfortable once the dildo is inside you. To be really confident you can suggest that your partner has an enema or give them one yourself an hour or so before your session.

How to actually get started

Get yourself ready.

Put on your Strap on. I prefer to wear it over a skirt or panties as I like the sensation of it rubbing on my pubic mound through them, otherwise it can be too chaffing. I suggest practicing wearing your cock before you intend to actually use it to find out how itís most comfortable. I also like to pad the whole of my groin with kitchen towels. Okay, itís not very sexy, but it gives me the confidence to thrust away without feeling like I might get messy. When you put on your strap-on leave it a bit loose to begin with as you will need to adjust itís positioning to get it inside and get the angle right. Only once itís inside tighten up the harness.

Get the bottom ready

Wearing a glove, stroke the opening. Slowly insert your finger into the anus, it will probably open and contract or tighten around your finger. Once your finger is inside wait until you feel all the sphincter muscle relax, at first they may tighten. It feels very hot and wet for the giver. Slowly insert another finger and get the whole anal canal well lubricated, relaxed and open.

Getting the cock in

Put a condom onto the cock and lubricate it well. Wearing a glove again push one of your finger inside the arse hole find the angle of the opening and push the cock inside slowly as you withdraw your finger. The submissive partner has to completely accept and want what is about to happen to them. This is because it is essential that they try to relax and open their anal sphincter, the muscle at the opening of the anal passage. As they feel the dildo pushing against this muscle they should try to open it and push down and back on to it.

Getting going

Go carefully and slowly allow the cock to completely fill the anus let the slave relax for a few moments once it is inside, then eventually continue slowly and gently with small movements. Remember this area is so sensitive that even simple motions feel magnified. Never force the cock inside and if it hurts excessively stop immediately. Gradually build up to harder and faster strokes Basically work out a rhythm that comfortable for you. (This is where you begin to have to give men their dues when you realise just how exhausting fucking is; on the bright side it good exercise for your leg muscles.) Finishing. Withdraw slowly, when you have finished. A little trick to prevent mess is to put on a glove and pull the condom off the strap-on inside out. Then pull the glove off inside out, ensuring any mess is well insulated - wrap in tissue and put it straight into a bin. The recipient may want to go to the lavatory afterwards, this is normal.

Angle of entry

Finding the angle of entry into the anus varies from person to person and depends upon the position you are fucking in. Physiologically speaking, the rectum and anal canal tilts forward slightly towards the navel then back again towards the tailbone.

Remember a bad experience will spoil further exploration, so always take it slowly to begin with. Be aware it may take some time to fully penetrate your partner. Aim to achieve this over a number of sessions starting with smaller attachments. Donít expect to push a huge 9-inch phallus up a virgin bottom on the first session. Once your cock is inside keep in mind you have access to you partnerís genitals, which you can simultaneously wank or play with while you fuck them. While Iím fucking a guy from behind I love to grab his cock and squeeze it hard or even wank it until he comes while Iím fucking him.

Positions

Doggie

For beginners or anyone without elaborate equipment, I would suggest starting with the doggie position. Place your partner on all fours with you either kneeling behind or lying over their backs to fuck them. Remember to put something soft down on the floor to protect your knees.

Standing

Another good and simple position. Just bend your partner over a table etc and fuck them while you are standing.

Girlie Style (Missionary)

More difficult, especially getting the dildo into the right spot. Lay your partner on their backs and kneel between their open legs, lift up their legs with your arms. I personally love to put guys on their backs as I can watch their faces while I fuck them. I also feel itís a real reversal of roles. It has an intimacy that you canít achieve when you fuck from behind.

Comfortable Girlie Style

Buy a sling! Put your partner on their back and rock them back and forth onto your cock - hours of effortless fun guaranteed.

Guys on Top

Here you lie on your back and make them do all the work squatting over you.

Spooning

Both partners lie on their sides facing the same direction. Gives excellent access to you partnerís genitals.

Some shopping tips

Buying a Strap On

This article is basically written for women who want to use strap-ons anally on male partners. This advice is therefore with this in mind. The back passage, unlike vaginas, can be pretty messy even with lots of preparation. So I would only consider using a completely rubber harness so that it can be properly washed afterwards. Strap-ons usually comprise of a harness that straps round the groin with some kind of O-ring where different sized dildos may be fitted. They are also available as a one piece where the harness is permanently attached to the harness. For beginners I would recommend buying a strap on that has interchangeable dildos so that you can start with a small size and work up to a full cock size. You can also obtain hand held dildos for fucking and strap-onís that attach to the knee, which allow for more vigorous fucking.

Lubricants

For anal play you really need to invest in a good quality water based silicon lubricant. KY Jelly is absolutely rubbish as after about a minute it dries up. To test a lubricant just rub a small amount between your fingers for a minute or two and see how slippy it stays. One of the best lubes is Wet Platinum, which is the slipperiest and longest lasting lube I have ever come across. Its only draw back is that itís so good it takes ages to wash off anything it come into contact with so be warned. So for practicality I recommend Elbow Grease Gel, which has all the slipperiness without the mess. Also excellent are Probe, Body Glide and Liquid Silk.

Gloves

I recommend buying a box of latex gloves, as you get through loads. Once theyíre all yucky just take them off by pulling them inside out and throw them straight into a bin, this way no mess gets anywhere. Donít try and reuse or wash them, once your hands have made them wet from sweat theyíre almost impossible to get on again. They are obtainable from any large chemist at about £9 for 100 and available in small, medium or large. To be effective gloves really should be the correct size and tight on your hands. Iím allergic to the powder in latex gloves and some people are allergic to latex itself, so you can also buy vinyl or powder free gloves.

Some safety considerations for anal play.

Both faeces and the back passage contain bacteria that can lead to stomach upsets, yeast and bladder infections, conjunctivitis, many other complaints and more seriously Hepatitis A and B. Therefore it is essential that you protect yourself from these bugs. Always use gloves and never touch your mouth or rub your eyes accidentally. Always use a condom on every dildo or butt plug (unless itís for your personal use only.) Absolutely never put anything used anally into a vagina. Keep all your toys absolutely clean.

Okay so using a strap-on probably isnít going to change your life... but it is a whole new exciting and erotic area for you to explore and maybe even discover something new about yourself. So lets go girls.