The friendly Mistress

[acescrushed]

Originally Posted by Mistress Adore

Thank you acescrushed.

I do not like arrogance though very much enjoy playing the game of when is she being serious. Great fun seeing the look of confusion or conflict in the eyes as they try to figure it out.

While I smile sweetly of course

Ha ha.

Maybe arrogance is the wrong word. I remember in a session, my mistress saying how perfect she was or something, in her own sweet way. I totally agreed with her and it hit the spot for me!

[acescrushed]

Originally Posted by subparman

I have sessioned over the years with mistresses who are both strict (or aloof, abrupt etc) in all forms of communication, the initial conversations to pre-session and during session and those who are communicative, friendly, confident etc and much prefer the latter.

As Platelicker said on the whole they tend to make for better mistresses and better sessions as well as encouraging loyalty and long term mistress/sub relationships because with good communication, mutual respect and friendliness relationships will grow and sessions get better and better.

I sessioned with one Birmingham Mistress who was very much the former. There was little communication but was very attractive, well equipped and did pretty well what we had discussed so I should have left with a big smile on my face. However, communication was minimal pre-session, during session, and post session. As I was getting dressed after I thought how strange. It felt as though she wasn't interested in me, this was just like a commercial transaction that had taken place, a bit like getting your car serviced, it runs OK and you know it was an essential service but you feel like you have just been f**ked by someone (not in a nice way!).

She wasn't interested whether I had enjoyed it, wanted to return, where we could go in the future which is unusual because I know that regular subs are key to a mistresses business model. Perhaps all of her subs were one off clients so she didn't waste words with me assuming I would be the same. No bloody wonder! I was back in my car 55 minutes after getting out of it for a 1 hour session!

Sometimes, I simply perceive this as lacking in skills, education, intelligence and vocabulary. It isn't lack of experience because I have sessioned with a couple of young mistresses starting out and it has been great fun exploring and growing with them, if they have the basic enthusiasm.

There are many other mistresses with whom long term relationships are formed, where everything is excellent. I don't need to elaborate much here because there are many of them and we all have probably come across many of them. There are those with whom we can sit and chat for longer than the session time itself, laugh together and share interests. They can either switch in to Mistress mode or adopt the friendly, fun approach for the session. I have experienced both and enjoyed both because they use their skill, charm and personality to get you where they want you to be - which is a wonderful thing to experience.

Many years ago there seemed to be lots of mistresses who thought all they needed to do was shout at you and tell you that you were a useless piece of shit on the bottom of their shoe. With the internet these days we can spot them a mile off and avoid them. Personality, genuineness, skills etc on a mistresses part now shines through in social media, websites etc these days and as Mistress Adore opened this post she is an excellent example.

I would love to session with you Mistress Adore and just hope that one of my business clients will find me a job in the North East, I thought that may happen earlier this year but sadly it didn't.

Interesting post. I've seen aloof mistresses that weren't even that attractive and had various different experiences.

My first experience was with someone who didn't say much. She put me at ease, but she was not exactly a nice person. It was one of the best sessions I've had. Then I met someone exactly the same but very much money orientated and that was the worst session I've had.

Then I've sessioned with someone very chatty. A long chat before hand (mostly her gassing on), a lot of chat during the session (mostly her) and a lot of chat after the session (mostly her). That wasn't a great experience even though she was very friendly and chatty.

The two mistresses I see now are pretty similar although one is sweeter than the other! I guess it's down to the "click" thing again!

[jon123]

Originally Posted by subtle

(probably not unconnected with a taste on my part for emotional masochism)

Emotional masochism is, I think, also one of my vices.

I recommend falling in love with a professional mistress. It never fails to give the emotional masochist what he is looking for.

[posh-sub]

I agree with the general view.

Sessioning for me is so much more than the mechanics of the process. It is about the connection and empathy.

One of my least rewarding sessions was with a classic "by the numbers" Domme. Fantastic to look at. HUGE pre-meeting questionnaire. Deposit. Last-minute address reveal etc. etc. LONG pre-session discussion of likes and dislikes, red lines, hard and soft limits, safewords etc. etc.

But not a hint of warmth or connection. pre-agreed likes ignored. Preferences from questionnaire ignored. Remote - almost distant attitude in session.

I never went back ...

Peace & Love
poshie

[subparman]

Originally Posted by posh-sub

I agree with the general view.

Sessioning for me is so much more than the mechanics of the process. It is about the connection and empathy.

One of my least rewarding sessions was with a classic "by the numbers" Domme. Fantastic to look at. HUGE pre-meeting questionnaire. Deposit. Last-minute address reveal etc. etc. LONG pre-session discussion of likes and dislikes, red lines, hard and soft limits, safewords etc. etc.

But not a hint of warmth or connection. pre-agreed likes ignored. Preferences from questionnaire ignored. Remote - almost distant attitude in session.

I never went back ...

Peace & Love
poshie

Sadly, your not alone in this type of experience but they are thankfully few and far between these days. In the old contact mag days it was much more frequent but thank goodness we have moved on from that.

I'm afraid we just have to put it down to experience - however it leaves a nasty taste at the time when one has put so much time, money and emotional energy in to what should (we hope) be something special.

[Mistress Adore]

Originally Posted by platelicker

As you know Mistress, I have had the pleasure of meeting you on a non session basis and I endorse all you say about yourself.

The short answer to your question is that I much prefer a Mistress who is friendly and approachable out of session. They are more down to earth and not up their own arses and thus they are being natural.

Also and this is the most important bit so far as I am concerned, I find from long experience that the friendly Mistresses are simply much better in session. They may be friendly out of session but they can be cruel and demanding in session and they take more notice of pre session discussions. They are not trying to impress but simply being their natural dominant selves in session.

I suppose I am saying that they are more professional.

Yes even if you did starve me ;-)

[geordiesouth]

Originally Posted by Mistress Adore

Yes even if you did starve me ;-)

Oh my god. He didn't buy me lunch either.

[platelicker]

Originally Posted by Mistress Adore

Yes even if you did starve me ;-)

Maybe you will give me a second chance?

[Mistress Adore]

Originally Posted by platelicker

Maybe you will give me a second chance?

Maybe

[devonsub]

I found Mistress Adore very approachable and helpful when I was trying to submit a review for a Mistress. She is a Mistress that people seem to hold in very high regard as do I. I am both impressed and appreciative of her integrity and sense of even handedness she shows constantly as a moderator on these boards.