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Old 03-05-2018, 06:08   #11
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I came across a website recently where the PD made it very clear that any chat just before the session would be included in the time booked. I can understand the financial imperatives behind this - especially if the session space is being rented by the hour - but I can also see how it might encourage people to move more quickly into play and spend less time negotiating. (No idea if this was the case here, of course).

More broadly in response to the OP - I've come to think the most Important thing of all in a PD is to find someone who really listens - not just to your trials and tribulations although that's nice - but is looking out for and responding to the way the sub is reacting to the session, so it can become something interactive and shared, rather than a series of kinky things being done by one person to another.

Hope your next session is a happier one!
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Old 03-05-2018, 09:26   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by masochist View Post
Some places in London are now literally not letting mistresses in till the booking starts and want them out to the minute when it's over

I know some mistresses now suggest meeting in a coffee shop before for a quick chat or buy them dinner at the end of s session to talk it through

Having 10 mins at the start and 10 mins at the end would cost the mistress an extra 100

Which on A one hour session.. . Plus the 50_70 quid to rent the place for the hour would hardly make it worth their while

It's not all places but indicative of how busy some establishments are as they need the time between to clean and prep for the next session
As an aside: I have to say this sort of set-up and system sounds dreadfully unsatisfactory. For my money I cannot see any possibility of a relaxed and hefted session no matter how magnificent a lady might be.

Anyway, with such pressured JIT arrangements how are the variances and unreliability of transport accounted for ? Either client or Mistress has to give up some time for free in order for it all to work. Like a well running engine the tolerances need to be set just right; too tight and the engine will lock solid and not turn over, too slack and the engine will not run for long. There needs to be a Goldilocks sweet spot agreed between lady and client.

Also, how does 10 mins either end cost a Mistress £100 ? What is costing her £300/hr ?

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Old 03-05-2018, 12:31   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Slutty Rimmer View Post
Also, how does 10 mins either end cost a Mistress £100 ? What is costing her £300/hr ?.
I think the point was that at £50/hr an extra hour before and after, even if only 10 mins was used, would cost £100. It's unlikely to be true because you'd be flexible on time and at most only use one extra slot.

In London there's a scarcity of good dungeons now that Leah and Patricia have closed down.
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Old 03-05-2018, 16:41   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by masochist View Post
Some places in London are now literally not letting mistresses in till the booking starts and want them out to the minute when it's over

I know some mistresses now suggest meeting in a coffee shop before for a quick chat or buy them dinner at the end of s session to talk it through

Having 10 mins at the start and 10 mins at the end would cost the mistress an extra 100

Which on A one hour session.. . Plus the 50_70 quid to rent the place for the hour would hardly make it worth their while

It's not all places but indicative of how busy some establishments are as they need the time between to clean and prep for the next session
I can confirm this happened to a friend of mine who recently rented a dungeon down there. She was very much put off by it. I think it's really unprofessional for dungeons to do that... they should be scheduling plenty of time between bookings to account for that (an hour at least). I very much hope Mistresses are able to vote with their feet, but I guess if dungeons are few and far between, what can you do?
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Old 03-05-2018, 17:43   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MistressLola View Post
I can confirm this happened to a friend of mine who recently rented a dungeon down there. She was very much put off by it. I think it's really unprofessional for dungeons to do that... they should be scheduling plenty of time between bookings to account for that (an hour at least). I very much hope Mistresses are able to vote with their feet, but I guess if dungeons are few and far between, what can you do?
Oh I am SO pleased to live in the North and have a Mistress that has her own premises. Not only do I have the luxury of a magnificient Mistress but the luxury of TIME!
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Old 03-05-2018, 20:05   #16
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Back to the original topic, I hate hearing about sessions like these. Unfortunately websites are easily up and running liking very slick within a day for those who know how to build them.

A first time session is in my opinion a getting to know each other session, building trust, finding the connection and from my side learning about the person and the body I am playing with.

There is no excuse for a safe word not being acted on, If the lady heard you clear enough to go and check your limits she heard you well enough to hear your safe word. If she did not it was still on her to check how you were during the session.

As has been said, you are spending a lot of money and should have limits respected.

I am curious about your communication however, saying you did not want any pre session communication with someone you had never sessioned with before is not something I would allow on a first session.

I would suggest contacting the Mistress in question laying out your side of the session, if she is decent she will reply and hopefully you can put the to rest. She will learn a lesson if she is new maybe. If she does not reply, well you also will have learned something new about communication.
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Old 03-05-2018, 20:56   #17
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Originally Posted by Mistress Adore View Post
I am curious about your communication however, saying you did not want any pre session communication with someone you had never sessioned with before is not something I would allow on a first session.
That's partly me. I'm not very submissive so I prefer kidnap role plays and this lady advertised a role play I found exciting. It's the complex role plays that I can't do with friends that I need a pro for. Again I'm being economical with the truth a bit to avoid identifying her.

With hindsight these things should be taken slowly and I'm doing that with someone else, but like I said earlier after six months between sessions I felt the need to play. I do find building a relationship with a pro quite hard - just getting email answered is hard enough!
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Old 03-05-2018, 23:02   #18
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Originally Posted by Switchable View Post
I do find building a relationship with a pro quite hard - just getting email answered is hard enough!
I find this a bit weird (not you switchable!). In the end there is a business going on for many PDs and making communication difficult strikes me as not the way to go. Although I suppose there is something about those who are really interested will keep on trying

I do understand the overkill that some subs get into but I've never been with someone who just getting a response from is hard.

Having said that, herself does have a habit of leaving her mobile at home, right at the bottom of her bag and in the boot of her car!
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Old 04-05-2018, 08:11   #19
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Yes, I find it a strange way to run a business. But I can think of plenty of reasons why.

On Wednesday, in an effort to get back on the horse, I emailed two mistresses, both active (one was even advertising spare availability today). Neither has replied yet. I generally don't send a chaser; "why haven't you replied" is unlikely to win friends.

I introduce myself, say how I've heard of them, explain my kinks and ask if they'd like to session. I'm not obsequious but not rude either, just normal. My mistress friends say that as soon as I say I'm not looking to bow and scrape my email will go in the bin, because I'll be seen as harder work than someone who just wants foot worship. Even so a quick "no thanks" would be nice.
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