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Old 11-09-2017, 20:32   #1
Mistress Adore
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Default The friendly Mistress

So those who know me know I am pretty down to earth. I like to think I am easy to talk to and pretty easy to get on with. Of course I also have my playful or wicked side (depending on who you ask ;-)). For me being a Mistress does not mean I have to be unapproachable though I understand this is the last thing some would like.

So what about you?

How do you like your Mistress to be (and I know I am going to get some a mixture of both replies)?
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Old 11-09-2017, 23:27   #2
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As you know Mistress, I have had the pleasure of meeting you on a non session basis and I endorse all you say about yourself.

The short answer to your question is that I much prefer a Mistress who is friendly and approachable out of session. They are more down to earth and not up their own arses and thus they are being natural.

Also and this is the most important bit so far as I am concerned, I find from long experience that the friendly Mistresses are simply much better in session. They may be friendly out of session but they can be cruel and demanding in session and they take more notice of pre session discussions. They are not trying to impress but simply being their natural dominant selves in session.

I suppose I am saying that they are more professional.
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Old 11-09-2017, 23:36   #3
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Very much the same as platelicker. As most posters know herself and I are very good friends out of session and that is hugely important to me. That closeness, for us anyway, enhances sessioning

As we play gently cruelty is not necessary and we often break down in laughter. Indeed last time out we ended up discussing a local restaurant half way through - because of how we are we can move in and out of play easily. But she is always the one who gets us back on track with a word, a gesture or a look!
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Old 12-09-2017, 10:32   #4
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In answer to Mistress Adore's question, approachable yes, and I expect that will be the answer of most who post here, and I agree with it. I say that based on discussions we have had before, not exactly on this topic, but similar.

However, it's always good to have a few differences of opinion, so here goes.

There has been and is a sense of 'awe' about the professional dommes I have connected with the best. That awe is cultivated in session, of course, but it seems to be still there afterwards and never completely goes away. In the case I am thinking of, once a sub/slave to one domme, always a sub/slave to her, in some way, however small. This sense of being a supplicant has remained with me years after the professional side of the relationship ended, probably because she has kept it there.

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Originally Posted by Lisal View Post
As we play gently cruelty is not necessary and we often break down in laughter. Indeed last time out we ended up discussing a local restaurant half way through - because of how we are we can move in and out of play easily. But she is always the one who gets us back on track with a word, a gesture or a look!
I have had a few long (more than 3 hour) sessions where one would not expect the intensity to remain throughout, but for shorter sessions I would like to keep the 'otherworldliness' of the session, and keep normal conversation to after the session.

To paraphrase Mistress Scarlet 'Gratifying Domination and Submissive Contentment: A Guidance Manual' (Kindle), a dominant may of course indulge in laughter if it pleases her, but the submissive should know that laughter is not her only emotion and it will be accompanied by mental or physical cruelty as well (I recommend the manual, by the way).
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Old 12-09-2017, 12:18   #5
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Friendship in pre-play, play and post play is a good facilitator in that it provides context to the play relationship, enabling effective communication as a framework for the freedom to be yourself.

Much better to start a journey without maps, manuals or preconceived ideas and enjoy the unique freedom of going wherever it might lead…
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Old 12-09-2017, 17:43   #6
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Most of the Mistresses I have sessioned with we have become good friends and I am still in contact with one that I stopped sessioning with 5 years ago even though she is now in a vanilla job
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Old 12-09-2017, 19:40   #7
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I love sessioning in the context of a warm, friendly relationship. It feels like I can be more myself (or perhaps I like the self that emerges there better) and to feel that self embraced & welcomed is a lovely thing. And I like the reassurance this gives me that the PD is doing something she enjoys & doesn't feel the need to distance herself from it in any way.

OTOH I've also played long term with Dommes who have taken a slightly cooler or more distant approach, and that dynamic has its own exciting rub and friction (probably not unconnected with a taste on my part for emotional masochism). Perhaps there's another kind of abandon going on there.
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Old 12-09-2017, 21:10   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Adore View Post
So those who know me know I am pretty down to earth. I like to think I am easy to talk to and pretty easy to get on with. Of course I also have my playful or wicked side (depending on who you ask ;-)). For me being a Mistress does not mean I have to be unapproachable though I understand this is the last thing some would like.

So what about you?

How do you like your Mistress to be (and I know I am going to get some a mixture of both replies)?
Similar to you.

My current Mistress is very sweet, sometimes cutting/witty funny, easy to get on with. Quite direct and caring with a sadistic side.

Anothe mistress is similar really. She's very sweet, down to earth, lovely, well mannered, funny and warm.

I'm smitten by both of them. I feel flutter just talking about them.

Others that I didn't click with - a bit too show off ish. I like arrogance in dommes but too much is a turn off. Maybe a bit distant/fake.

Anyway, dare I say you sound lovely.
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Old 13-09-2017, 06:32   #9
Mistress Adore
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Thank you acescrushed.

I do not like arrogance though very much enjoy playing the game of when is she being serious. Great fun seeing the look of confusion or conflict in the eyes as they try to figure it out.

While I smile sweetly of course
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Old 13-09-2017, 07:30   #10
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I have sessioned over the years with mistresses who are both strict (or aloof, abrupt etc) in all forms of communication, the initial conversations to pre-session and during session and those who are communicative, friendly, confident etc and much prefer the latter.

As Platelicker said on the whole they tend to make for better mistresses and better sessions as well as encouraging loyalty and long term mistress/sub relationships because with good communication, mutual respect and friendliness relationships will grow and sessions get better and better.

I sessioned with one Birmingham Mistress who was very much the former. There was little communication but was very attractive, well equipped and did pretty well what we had discussed so I should have left with a big smile on my face. However, communication was minimal pre-session, during session, and post session. As I was getting dressed after I thought how strange. It felt as though she wasn't interested in me, this was just like a commercial transaction that had taken place, a bit like getting your car serviced, it runs OK and you know it was an essential service but you feel like you have just been f**ked by someone (not in a nice way!).

She wasn't interested whether I had enjoyed it, wanted to return, where we could go in the future which is unusual because I know that regular subs are key to a mistresses business model. Perhaps all of her subs were one off clients so she didn't waste words with me assuming I would be the same. No bloody wonder! I was back in my car 55 minutes after getting out of it for a 1 hour session!

Sometimes, I simply perceive this as lacking in skills, education, intelligence and vocabulary. It isn't lack of experience because I have sessioned with a couple of young mistresses starting out and it has been great fun exploring and growing with them, if they have the basic enthusiasm.

There are many other mistresses with whom long term relationships are formed, where everything is excellent. I don't need to elaborate much here because there are many of them and we all have probably come across many of them. There are those with whom we can sit and chat for longer than the session time itself, laugh together and share interests. They can either switch in to Mistress mode or adopt the friendly, fun approach for the session. I have experienced both and enjoyed both because they use their skill, charm and personality to get you where they want you to be - which is a wonderful thing to experience.

Many years ago there seemed to be lots of mistresses who thought all they needed to do was shout at you and tell you that you were a useless piece of shit on the bottom of their shoe. With the internet these days we can spot them a mile off and avoid them. Personality, genuineness, skills etc on a mistresses part now shines through in social media, websites etc these days and as Mistress Adore opened this post she is an excellent example.

I would love to session with you Mistress Adore and just hope that one of my business clients will find me a job in the North East, I thought that may happen earlier this year but sadly it didn't.
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