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Old 16-11-2017, 21:39   #11
Slutty Rimmer
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Originally Posted by Ogden McNitt View Post
A friend of mine is thinking of asking out a lady who is a fair bit younger than he is. How do you find the age gap, is it ever an issue?
For what it's worth.

If your friend gets a positive response to his approach then ipso facto the age gap need not necessarily be a problem. Tell your friend to invite her for a drink at his favourite wine bar and order a bottle of the newly released (today) Beaujolais Nouveau* and then engage her mind by deploying his sparkling knowledge of UK HMRC tax evasion statistics and possible solutions. The road ahead lays open to the daring traveller.

There are potholes in the road. He must NOT attempt to fleetingly touch a knee, or 'lunge' for a kiss at the boozy end of the evening lest he be thought a pervy old harasser. A firm handshake will suffice. Remember, human interaction and sexuality is now a non-contact activity.

Obviously, if the response is a 'Fack off Grandad' then your friend just has to go and buy the LP of 'Gold - Steps Greatest Hits' to familiarise himself with the magnitude of their musical majesty and then ask her out to the Leeds Arena this coming Tuesday night...

...errrr, or whenever Steps happen to be next playing in Leeds, if indeed they ever do, if indeed they even still exist.

Which they do, and are, and will be on Tuesday.

See you both there.

Kind Regards,
The Fireman.

* A day to mark on your calendar. The third Thursday in November, and this year another corker. After a long hot dry Summer the grapes were concentrated with flavour and ripe intensity but the smaller thicker skins also give untypical tannin. So the result is a very fruity, alcoholic wine with more structure than usual. I know this because the glass next to me tells me so.

Waitrose do the best bottling by far, which at £6.99 is really quite acceptable.
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Old 17-11-2017, 07:01   #12
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Originally Posted by Ogden McNitt View Post
A friend of mine is thinking of asking out a lady who is a fair bit younger than he is. How do you find the age gap, is it ever an issue?
I shall take it that you are asking me this question directly.

I was being sarcastic as always. The age gap I mean. 52 has been and gone for a while now.

As for how GG and I get on with this numbers difference. It’s a bit of a poser I must admit.
Not at first. But as our relationship progressed over weeks and months. I did find myself asking her,
“What’s a nice young lady like you doing with this old silver fox”

She turned her head around to look behind,
“What nice young lady” she said.

I’m as much surprised as anyone mate. The age gap is there and there is not much I can do about it. GG has stressed the numbers mean nothing and she has always felt more comfortable in the company of more mature men. She’s adorable and I’m hooked, so why fight any insecurities I may have about her being much younger than me.

Tell your friend to have no fears, why should he. Sometimes we worry far too much about what other people think, rather than just get on with life.

Mind you. This yank staying at my hotel looks far too old for the young oriental girl he’s with. Talk about cradle snatching
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Old 17-11-2017, 11:20   #13
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Expected or is it dishonest.

I think I kind of expect it but today I saw an advert from a mistress saying she is 27

And well it jarred a little with me as she was claiming to be 24 when I saw her 12 years ago (and I had my doubts then as I thought she was older than she said)

Thoughts?
What about Mistresses who lie about their accents ?

I once read an advert that described a dedicated disciplinarian as having a 'cut glass English accent', all the reviews and forum comments backed this up. Blimey, I thought I must have phoned the wrong number when it was answered by a right broad heavy Lancashire accent. Nothing wrong with Lancashire accents but they hardly aspire to be considered cut glass ! This lady's accent was more crushed gravel when she spilled over with all the 'chucks', 'luvs', and 'dears'.

Still, she certainly knew how to wield a cane...and polish off a bottle of wine.

It made me wonder though. Either the person placing the ad and writing the reviews had never met the lady, or she had some ridiculous delusions of grandeur. Weird.

I don't understand why people lie because the truth soon outs, and who cares anyway ? The lie is a problem, not the real age or real accent.

Kind Regards,
The Fireman.
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Old 17-11-2017, 12:03   #14
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Originally Posted by Ogden McNitt View Post
A friend of mine is thinking of asking out a lady who is a fair bit younger than he is. How do you find the age gap, is it ever an issue?
Tell your friend to be himself first and foremost, enjoy the moment and don't over think the age difference. After all age is just a number 💋
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Old 17-11-2017, 20:26   #15
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. After all age is just a number ��
Until your joints ache, you cannot see anything with out reading glasses ................... apart from that
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Old 18-11-2017, 09:30   #16
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Default Thank you...

I do love it when UK-M goes all Agony Aunt. So much in fact, that I have finally plucked up courage to get some personal 'agony' off my chest.

"Dear UK-M Agony Aunt,

I have two brothers, one is an estate agent, the other is serving a life sentence in solitary in a high security prison.

My mother died of a drugs overdose when I was 18 months old, my two sisters are prostitutes and my father is an arms dealer.

Recently, I met a single mother who has been released from reform where she spent time for neglect of her illegitimate child.

I love this girl very much and want to marry her.

My problem is this,

Shall I tell her about my brother who works as an estate agent?

Sincerely, ex"...
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Old 18-11-2017, 11:33   #17
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Old 18-11-2017, 20:40   #18
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Oh you lot have me thinking, I have not updated my website for a few years, not because I am tying to fool anyone, simply because I am not actually trying to attract new people so have got a bit lazy.

That said I do not lie about my age, I have never been asked it but if I was I would say I was 49, why because that is my age and if a person was looking for a younger lady I would rather he went to one.
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Old 18-11-2017, 21:43   #19
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Originally Posted by ex nihilo View Post
...
My problem is this,

Shall I tell her about my brother who works as an estate agent?

Sincerely, ex"...
I am deeply saddened by your predicament. In view of the following I would suggest that it is probably wise not mention to your fiancee that you are related to an estate agent.

An estate agent parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues. As he’s getting out of the car, a truck comes speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before speeding off.

More than a little distraught, the estate agent grabs his mobile and calls the police. Five minutes later, the police arrive. Before the policeman has a chance to ask any questions, the estate agent starts screaming hysterically:

“My Porsche, my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined, it’ll simply never
be the same again!”

After the estate agent finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust: “I can’t believe how materialistic you estate agents are,”

“You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don’t notice anything else in your life.”

“How can you say such a thing at a time like this?”, snaps the estate agent.

The policeman replies, “Didn’t you realise that your right arm was torn off when the truck hit you.” The estate agent looks down in absolute horror……….

“Oh my God!” he screams – “Where’s my Rolex?!”


This materialism may not go down too well! Although I am not an agony aunt and everything I say should be ignored, I hope this sobering tale helps?
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Old 19-11-2017, 16:49   #20
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I agree Mistress Adore. You would be truthful and tell anyone who asked what your age was. Let’s face it. Nobody would believe you.
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