UKM - When a sub is clearly in distress... - UK

darkslut · 19-01-2019, 10:25

A question for Mistresses:
When you are in session and the sub is clearly in emotional distress (it can physical distress too, which I imagine would invariably lead to emotional distress) but is not using the safeword, what do You do? Do You see the tears/howling/crying etc as some sort of deep catharsis that the sub may perhaps crave or something that should be addressed and ended?
I ask as I have an image of being dominated by my Mistress and a Master, with the Master violating me under my Mistress' loving command. I imagine at one point the pain and the utter emotional devastation would begin to tell at one point, but at the same time it is something I requested and I although I am able to use the safeword, I do not and simply, through my tears, cry "Please Mistress, no, stop, no more" etc.
A twisted vision perhaps but one that leads me to ask the good people here on UKM.
Love to all
xxx

geordiesouth · 19-01-2019, 23:04

Well I’m definitely not a mistress and this scenario is definitely not something I’d ever get myself into.

But you mention you have a safe word but for some reason you don’t use it.

Why ?

darkslut · 19-01-2019, 23:15

This strange idea that I asked for the violation and agreed to it and that the pain, discomfort and humiliation are the "reality" of the situation so why end it....?
And if there's a sweet reward from the Mistress at the end for going through with, why use the safeword?
Don't know if that make sense.

geordiesouth · 19-01-2019, 23:58

I think it’s only you that can answer this one. As only you know the emotional and psychological attachment you have with your mistress...... and master in this case.

Slutty Rimmer · 20-01-2019, 11:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by darkslut

I ask as I have an image of being dominated by my Mistress and a Master, with the Master violating me under my Mistress' loving command. I imagine at one point the pain and the utter emotional devastation would begin to tell at one point, but at the same time it is something I requested and I although I am able to use the safeword, I do not and simply, through my tears, cry "Please Mistress, no, stop, no more" etc.
A twisted vision perhaps but one that leads me to ask the good people here on UKM.
Love to all
xxx

I might be a bit naive here, but I don’t quite understand where the pain is coming from in this ‘violation’. What pain is making you cry and howl so much ?

Is it psychological pain from humiliation, in which case your Mistress is in control of it and you are playing within the safe limits of the session, or is it physical of some kind ? Is she instructing him to hurt you by using an XXL dildo on you, or something similar, in which case the tears need to be respected and the Master is an instrument under her control that she needs to apply sparingly.

I have a lady friend who uses her partner as a tool for my willing humiliation and disgrace and for her amusement and excitement*, but no physical pain is involved and I typically sport an erection throughout so there is usually a real sign of consent from me. I ring a little bell to seek permission to enter her room, and whilst I await as she ‘prepares’ her man-tool my heart beats like a f*cked clock, but when I am eventually allowed in my erection goes ahead of me. We have no safeword. Throughout the afternoon my emasculated disgrace is tangible, but despite her rough treatment of me and use of her crop there is no damaging pain to be concerned about as my erection is always a sign of consent (I find viagra helps with this consenting signal).

Hence, is the situation you describe all in your mind rather than born of experience ? If so, then the reality will probably be much different to what you imagine. Maybe ask your Mistress to read certain signs along with noting your reaction, and failing that just use your safeword.

I’m sorry, but I’m not sure I see any problem.

Kind Regards,
The Fireman.

* She gets off on bossing him about, and also using me like a piece of slut-meat. We both do as we are told...sort of. It seems to be the rush of a power induced orgasm that animates her throughout. It is a sight and sound to behold and I love assisting with her pleasure, I really enjoy enduring as she gets more and more excited as the afternoon draws on to the inevitable conclusion. I am a disgraceful slut and She is a dirty f*cking b*tch, and despite our persistent denials to the contrary we both know it. We tell each other often in no uncertain insults.

Mistress Esme · 21-01-2019, 17:15

Yet you aren't in emotional distress going by what you said. You are enjoying yourself and seeking a reward. So it's a silly question.

wealz · 26-01-2019, 03:22

I think the first part of the question is a valid one but without knowledge of the exact scenario its difficult to comment further. Maybe darkslut hasn't explained themselves properly.

My comment is based on my own experience as someone who also does not use a safeword.

I was recently caned to tears by my Mistress. She did it because she knows she can. It is distressing, I do plead for clemency but she knows I can take it so she ignores me and carries on anyway. BUT I have an experienced mistress whom I have built up a relationship with and I trust. I wouldn't visit a new mistress and ask her to do the same. Other activities are far more devastating for me and my threshold is much much lower. She knows I like to push my limits so will always try and take me further than I want to go and for her its a victory if she can take me beyond my protests to a new level. However she is also very experienced and like all good professionals she knows when a certain point is reached its time to back off.

Its a constant learning process for both of us.
I would say choose your mistress carefully and build up a relationship then try the scenario. If it takes all parties to that happy place then its a winner for everyone. But make sure your mistress understands you and the release mechanism is there if need be.

19-01-2019, 10:25	#1
darkslut Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 79 Reputation: 53	When a sub is clearly in distress... A question for Mistresses: When you are in session and the sub is clearly in emotional distress (it can physical distress too, which I imagine would invariably lead to emotional distress) but is not using the safeword, what do You do? Do You see the tears/howling/crying etc as some sort of deep catharsis that the sub may perhaps crave or something that should be addressed and ended? I ask as I have an image of being dominated by my Mistress and a Master, with the Master violating me under my Mistress' loving command. I imagine at one point the pain and the utter emotional devastation would begin to tell at one point, but at the same time it is something I requested and I although I am able to use the safeword, I do not and simply, through my tears, cry "Please Mistress, no, stop, no more" etc. A twisted vision perhaps but one that leads me to ask the good people here on UKM. Love to all xxx

19-01-2019, 23:04	#2
geordiesouth Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 7,237 Reputation: 108	Well I’m definitely not a mistress and this scenario is definitely not something I’d ever get myself into. But you mention you have a safe word but for some reason you don’t use it. Why ? __________________ A girls gotta have somewhere to park her bike.

19-01-2019, 23:58	#4
geordiesouth Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 7,237 Reputation: 108	I think it’s only you that can answer this one. As only you know the emotional and psychological attachment you have with your mistress...... and master in this case. __________________ A girls gotta have somewhere to park her bike.

21-01-2019, 17:15	#6
Mistress Esme Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: London Posts: 377 Reputation: 123	Yet you aren't in emotional distress going by what you said. You are enjoying yourself and seeking a reward. So it's a silly question. __________________ http://www.mistress-esme.com/

19-01-2019, 23:15	#3
darkslut Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 79 Reputation: 53	This strange idea that I asked for the violation and agreed to it and that the pain, discomfort and humiliation are the "reality" of the situation so why end it....? And if there's a sweet reward from the Mistress at the end for going through with, why use the safeword? Don't know if that make sense.

26-01-2019, 03:22	#7
wealz Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: S East Posts: 86 Reputation: 43	I think the first part of the question is a valid one but without knowledge of the exact scenario its difficult to comment further. Maybe darkslut hasn't explained themselves properly. My comment is based on my own experience as someone who also does not use a safeword. I was recently caned to tears by my Mistress. She did it because she knows she can. It is distressing, I do plead for clemency but she knows I can take it so she ignores me and carries on anyway. BUT I have an experienced mistress whom I have built up a relationship with and I trust. I wouldn't visit a new mistress and ask her to do the same. Other activities are far more devastating for me and my threshold is much much lower. She knows I like to push my limits so will always try and take me further than I want to go and for her its a victory if she can take me beyond my protests to a new level. However she is also very experienced and like all good professionals she knows when a certain point is reached its time to back off. Its a constant learning process for both of us. I would say choose your mistress carefully and build up a relationship then try the scenario. If it takes all parties to that happy place then its a winner for everyone. But make sure your mistress understands you and the release mechanism is there if need be.