19-02-2019, 18:59 | #1 |
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Another bad punt
Here's another session write up. It may seem like I only post bad experiences here, but that's just because only the bad ones are noteworthy. I do think I'm unlucky though.
This was supposed to be special, a full day double session. In order to make sure there were no misunderstandings I'd written up a comprehensive 2000 word description. I was asking for a femdom and femsub duo. This may upset some of you but the femsub would be offering oral sex. The scenario was to be a kidnap. So I approached a well known Dom, someone well reviewed here and elsewhere, with my outline and she quoted. With hindsight first warning, I had to ask her to requote for two people. The revised figure was higher than her advertised rate, but that seemed fair given the complexity. On the day I arrive and, second warning, she says "what are we doing today then"? I really should have abandoned the deposit and left, but instead reminded her of the session I'd sent her. Apparently she couldn't be expected to remember something from the time of booking. Anyway session starts. It's a normal sub male session, not a kidnap. So we try again. Subfem is unhappy being sub, claims that she doesn't do sub or any male contact for the agreed fee (subfem is an escort, so it's not an unreasonable request, and she was given the description before accepting the job). Abandon planned scenario. I'm tied down, masked and gagged. This is looking hopeful! Then she sticks a dildo up my arse. I don't do anal, too many bad memories. For a while I struggle and scream - for real - but it's taken as being part of the scene. Eventually I lie there crying, tears unseen inside the hood. It stops after a while. She is genuinely surprised to see me so upset and hugs me. I go to leave. She tells me there will be no refund. She goes massively out of her way to make things better. My head is really not in the right place. Eventually I leave, massively disappointed. So I don't know what to do. I want to warn others, to add balance to the positive reviews on the Internet. I don't want to slag her off, she was just out of her depth, a bit (lot) slack about consent and too eager to take the big money without considering that she might need to so more than go through the normal routine. If you wanted a standard femdom malesub session she's fine. Obviously I can't write a review here but I may do one for punternet. Having read this back it's easy for a third party to assume the description wasn't clear enough but it used phrases like "X gives oral to Y", "Z uses the flogger on X" and "Y struggles but Z and X pin him to the chair", it couldn't have been more explicit with including stage directions and a script. |
22-02-2019, 15:34 | #2 |
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2000 words? That's where you went wrong. There's no way on earth you could reasonably expect a domme to read, process and remember all that, let alone act the entire thing out with you. Imagine how many punters she sees a day/week and trying to pick the bones out of your 2000 word fantasy in amongst her schedule. It's just not feasible.
I'd suggest making a bullet point list of the five most important things you'd like to do in session, be able to tell her these things clearly face-to-face as well as by email, and tell her in person that your hard limit is anal. Also it's more fun if you just give her an idea of your interests and let her use her imagination and skills, rather than trying to tightly direct everything. |
23-02-2019, 20:47 | #3 |
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I have been doing this for 20years and have only seen about 4 really bad mistresses and had three bad experiences(which I took to heart)
The advice I got in hindsight was fantastic move on life is to short. It does not matter how well known there are or how good if you dont gel or communicate well then its not going to work. but agree with what you say it all sounds wrong. take care and enjoy
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24-02-2019, 11:42 | #4 |
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I’d say Nanker got the advise right. It sounds like the OP write a script for the mistress and the femsub to follow. Unless you know the persons involved well, then I think it’s a difficult thing to get right.
Hey, I’m a one that also likes to create scenarios and stuff so I fully realise how problematic this can be. Not so much a bad punt as the OP states. As just one that was not thought out in advance. Possibly by all three participants
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24-02-2019, 12:40 | #5 | |
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Fantasy Reality.
Quote:
As soon as she explained her reasoning it became obvious how unreasonable my detailed scenario was and I accepted she had done exactly the right thing. It was a lesson well learned to not try and relive the past but instead use it to illuminate whatever future is approaching. I got a partial refund on the (expensive) train ticket, and moved on, albeit feeling depressed and stupid and lost. I didn’t know then I would now be where I am on a frequent basis...on my knees before another easy going kinky couple. You just never know what is around the corner do you ? So keep alert, keep looking, and allow chance a stake in the game. Better to not try and over prescribe our own futures, because reality can rarely deliver on fantasy fiction. Kind Regards, The Fireman.
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24-02-2019, 16:35 | #6 |
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I agree with the others.
This does all sound rather complicated - especially with three participants some of whom had never met the others. There are a lot of moving parts to go wrong. Nanker has it right. A short, sharp email with bullet points and any hard limits. Herself used to do multiple daily sessions. She's very bright and quick wittted and would ask for a scenario with new clients - but nothing too long winded - just an outline. We all like different things but I do go with letting the domme use her imagination and brainpower - not restricting her with too much detail. |
25-02-2019, 07:26 | #7 |
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Its a shame when things don't work out as we plan. I know how it feels to come out of a longer session not having achieved what I expected.
Firstly Nanker has absolutely hit the nail on the head. My Mistress receives hundreds of emails and sometimes doesn't respond to mine even though I am a regular. Receiving something like that would have been easily dismissed or forgotten. My advice would be if you are planning a long (and presumably expensive) session like that, visit the mistress first for an hour then again for a 2 or 3 hours and build a bit of a connection. Also you can take some time discussing in person what your longer session involves. If all goes well then book the session, send a bullet point list of what you require and then confirm the booking the day before with a text. I can't guarantee this will work but knowing how many communications and 'time waste' messages my Mistress receives I think you would have a better chance if you build a connection first. |
25-02-2019, 09:19 | #8 |
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She shot it full of holes...
Really, the bullet point era is so old school. Far too easy to shoot holes in them! And ouch, don’t you just hate it when she gets out her laser pen!
My media savvy Mistress insists on PowerPoint scenario analysis presentations with moving 3-D animation. She says a picture is worth a thousand words. I wish I had the Bread to see her more often…
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25-02-2019, 09:24 | #9 |
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As you say Ex. A picture paints a thous......... you get the picture. Geddit
I’ve used pics to describe something in session I’d like to try. Works for me. Most of the time.
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25-02-2019, 18:00 | #10 | |
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