Any Questions ?

[Slutty Rimmer]

Having just applied to be in the audience for an upcoming edition of Question Time I have to offer up two potential questions for consideration, but the trouble is I am having difficulty thinking of two burning questions that would stand a chance of being sensibly answered.

I didn’t realise it, but with all this Brexit stuff I am suffering from political ennui. All suggestions welcome.

If none are forthcoming I shall just offer up:-

A) Why don’t the feet of Penguins freeze ?
B) What happened before anyone did anything ?

Controversial.

Kind Regards,
The Fireman.

[Barstool]

Wow....nice one Slutty...no can of worms being opened here then...

1) Are wasps underestimated as protectors of the environment and should they be protected?

2) It it not time child benefit was limited to 2 or 3 children per family?

3) Should main stream politicians be made to take basic intelligence tests before they can stand for election to parliament (Labour candidates only of course because most of them are really very silly)

Obviously only number 3 is meant to be serious.

How about a polite plea to the QT lighting department to tone things down a bit? All those garish pinks can be a bit jarring at that time of night.

[Slutty Rimmer]

Originally Posted by Ogden McNit

How about a polite plea to the QT lighting department to tone things down a bit? All those garish pinks can be a bit jarring at that time of night.

Heavens, what a thing to suggest !

I doubt the BBC would entertain your racist request because it would disasdvantage those of lesser brightness. I’ll ask on your behalf all the same though, just to help shield your tired old Red eyes* from the shining effulgence of middle England.

Contrast is good, isn’t it ? It sharpens up an otherwise bland image.

Hmmm...that has given me an idea for a question.

P.S. A proud noble looking bunch of chaps. I bet they spoke words of wisdom !

Kind Regards,
The Fireman.

*
They could never be Blue.
Blue is a street without end.
Red is the colour of hell.
Blue is a greeting from a friend.
Red is the colour of farewell.
They could never be Blue.

Originally Posted by Slutty Rimmer

Heavens, what a thing to suggest !

I doubt the BBC would entertain your racist request because it would disasdvantage those of lesser brightness.

I might have known someone would play the race card! It seems you can't make basic observations these days without some snowflake taking offence.

For the record, it's not racism. Being bright pink is not congenital. Rather it is brought about by poor lifestyle choices, high blood pressure and getting too wound up about the EU and 'political correctness gone mad'.

[Slutty Rimmer]

Originally Posted by Ogden McNit

I might have known someone would play the race card! It seems you can't make basic observations these days without some snowflake taking offence.

For the record, it's not racism. Being bright pink is not congenital. Rather it is brought about by poor lifestyle choices, high blood pressure and getting too wound up about the EU and 'political correctness gone mad'.

Quite right too. Keep the contrast high and keep fighting.

I have often argued that it is part of the British culture to ridicule ourselves, being self effacing is very much who we are. What is the country now coming to if we can’t take the mick out of how we think, or how we behave, or what we wear, or what our beliefs are ? My sister Dolly was just saying to Mrs Abiqi from No 32 how ridiculous the old Pink tweedy and concerned brigade looked in the modern World, “I, you’re not f*cking wrong there about those gammons wrapped in tweed.” said Mrs Abiqi. Well, that is to say it may have been Mrs Abiqi, but then it may also have been one of the Mrs Bukharis from Albion Drive, Dolly found it difficult to tell when trying to see who was behind the niq...*

That’s the British way.

Kind Regards,
The Fireman.

* The British freedom of right to self mockery and ridicule of religion is why Rowan Atkinson correctly came out in support of BoJo. Well done them for keeping up the big British end.

Originally Posted by Slutty Rimmer

*
They could never be Blue.
Blue is a street without end.
Red is the colour of hell.
Blue is a greeting from a friend.
Red is the colour of farewell.
They could never be Blue.

Top quoting, Slutmeister.

Paul Heaton. Cracking songwriter, if a bit bland musically for my tastes. Politically he was spot on though, and a man who speaks for middle England if ever there was one. There's certainly no denying that. Now there's a panellist I'd watch on QT;

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NI8-1CNHssU

Healthy looking skin tone and no jowls either. Amazing how some people age fast and others dont .

[Slutty Rimmer]

Originally Posted by Ogden McNit

Top quoting, Slutmeister.

Paul Heaton. Cracking songwriter, if a bit bland musically for my tastes.

I disagree about being bland. His songwriting is rooted in the everyday. One of my favourites is Build, a rage against the destruction of our beautiful rural land for the sake of increasing housing demand. Quite conservative at heart...

Clambering men in big bad boots
Dug up my den, dug up my roots.
Treated us like plasticine town
They build us up and knocked us down.

From Meccano to Legoland,
Here they come with a brick in their hand,
Men with heads filled up with sand,
It's build.

It's build a house where we can stay,
Add a new bit everyday.
It's build a road for us to cross,
Build us lots and lots and lots and lots.

Whistling men in yellow vans
They came and drew us diagrams.
Showed us how it all worked out
And wrote it down in case of doubt.

Slow, slow, quick, quick, quick,
It's wall to wall and brick to brick,
They work so fast it makes you sick,
It's build.

Down with sticks and up with bricks,
In with boots and up with roots,
It's in with suits and new recruits,
It's build...

All of it encased in a sumptuously melodic waltzing rhythm.

His good skin tone (?) is probably due to him being a keen cyclist and getting plenty of fresh air to his face. A few years ago he did a one-man cycling tour of Northern Engand callng in at quiet country pubs and putting on a little show.

Kind Regards,
The Fireman.

Originally Posted by Slutty Rimmer

I disagree about being bland. His songwriting is rooted in the everyday. One of my favourites is Build, a rage against the destruction of our beautiful rural land for the sake of increasing housing demand. Quite conservative at heart...

Good song. The Housemartins weren't bland, I was thinking more of The Beautiful South. Yes, musically small 'c' conservative, but politically he's very staunchly socialist, and has always despised the Conservative party and their loathsome policies, for obvious reasons.

[Slutty Rimmer]

Originally Posted by Ogden McNit

Good song. The Housemartins weren't bland, I was thinking more of The Beautiful South. Yes, musically small 'c' conservative, but politically he's very staunchly socialist, and has always despised the Conservative party and their loathsome policies, for obvious reasons.

That’s why I spelt it with a small ‘c’.

To many folk loathsome Conservative is better than rabid Labour.

Personally, I am centrist...which is my first QT question sorted.

Kind Regards,
The Fireman.