UKM - CP....fantasy verses reality. - Page 2 - UK

mattlad · 27-08-2011, 15:06

How have you felt a couple of hours after the session balacano?

Do you regret using the safeword and wish you had taken some more or do you feel the same as when you stopped the session?

subpet · 27-08-2011, 17:08

Hi

I recently experienced subspace as mentioned by numqata through a CP session (an like you my pain threshold is low) - it was fantastic. Much is to to with trust - trust that your Mistress will not harm you (and this comes from developing a relationship with your Mistress over time - Rome was not built in a day) and as subtle as said much is down to devloping a breathing technique. My Mistress taught me to take slow deep breaths - in through the nose and out through the mouth which helps a lot. There is evidence that slow breathing reduces pain. Developing a trusting relationship is key to extending boundaries - trust is the key. I think most of this is a mental rather than a physical thing, although that is not to say physical conditions are not important - some sessions I can take more pain than others for a variety of reasons.

I am very fortunate in serving a wonderful Mistress and there are some good accounts on her blog ( http://www.mistressbrown.com/#/blog/4552628613 - esp 23rd July 2011)- some people are able to take severe beatings but I like you, cannot at the moment.

balacano · 27-08-2011, 22:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by mattlad

How have you felt a couple of hours after the session balacano?

Do you regret using the safeword and wish you had taken some more or do you feel the same as when you stopped the session?

Hi mattlad.....actually,ive felt each time that i should have tried to break through the pain barrier(vaguely i guess like working out in the gym) and i felt completely depressed later that i had to stop that part of the session,resulting in a massive anticlimax,which lasts for a few days....im sure this is probably the absolute opposite effect of how it should be,hence the reason for starting this thread,asking advise from other bms.

balacano · 27-08-2011, 22:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by subpet

Hi

I recently experienced subspace as mentioned by numqata through a CP session (an like you my pain threshold is low) - it was fantastic. Much is to to with trust - trust that your Mistress will not harm you (and this comes from developing a relationship with your Mistress over time - Rome was not built in a day) and as subtle as said much is down to devloping a breathing technique. My Mistress taught me to take slow deep breaths - in through the nose and out through the mouth which helps a lot. There is evidence that slow breathing reduces pain. Developing a trusting relationship is key to extending boundaries - trust is the key. I think most of this is a mental rather than a physical thing, although that is not to say physical conditions are not important - some sessions I can take more pain than others for a variety of reasons.

I am very fortunate in serving a wonderful Mistress and there are some good accounts on her blog ( http://www.mistressbrown.com/#/blog/4552628613 - esp 23rd July 2011)- some people are able to take severe beatings but I like you, cannot at the moment.

Thank you very much for this advise subpet.....i dont think ive had enough sessions yet to build up a relationship of trust yet,so the mental hurdle is still to conquer....i will however try the breathing technique you mentioned...(ironically this reminds me of what they say to mothers giving birth, isnt it!)

Anyway..thanks again...i will let you know my progress(hopefully!)in the near future.

cpexplorer · 08-09-2011, 17:58

Hi Balcano,

There are a number of things you could do. My suggestions are:

1. Cut down the number of implements you're playing with. You say you "only got as far as the riding crop". But, the riding crop can be a very nasty implement. I'd choose as few as 2-3 implements you know you prefer and concentrate on these.

2. Wear a pair of tight shorts. E.g. M&S do some good thin, silky underwear. The Calvin Klein ones are a bit thick. Try building up talking punishment over the shorts before moving on to the bare. Especially with the cane, it can be very authentic as well as not so severe over shorts.

3. Get a lightweight cane (e.g. Quality Control Kooboo). Most dommes use rattan canes, because Kooboo doesn't really stand up to frequent, severe use. This may be a better way to build up to taking a caning.

4. Don't leave the cane until the end. After a brief warm-up try to take just 6strokes of the cane - or even just 3 strokes of the cane if you want to play safe. Then go back to more spanking/warm-up. Each time you cycle round to the cane, you have to take more. Although, with this approach, you could settle for no more than 6 at one time.

This might make the whole experience more interesting as well as letting you build up your tolerance.

Although it's a very common approach for a domme to work her way through a whole range of implements, before eventually moving on to the cane and then caning long and hard, this is not necessarily a good way to build up someone's tolerance.

Also, if you really want/need the cane, it's something of a tragedy if they lie unused throughout the session.

CP Bliss · 02-11-2011, 09:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by balacano

Ive just had another session with a Mistress here in the south east in which CP was the main preference subject.Its now my third time that ive asked for CP as the main subject and although the session itself was successful,each session with CP has left me partially unfulfilled.

The main problem is that in reality i simply cant take as much of this form of punishment as the fantasy ive dreamed about....each time ive been given a good warm up and the implements used were thoughtfully administered,but in the last session we only got as far as a riding crop,before i had to bleat out my safe word.....so i never got to any of the canes which id excitedly looked at layed out before i was strapped down....so that was disappointing.

I wouldnt say that i was a "complete wimp" and i truely would love to take more strokes with more severe implements,but my pain receivers seem to shout "no!".

CP has always been my BDSM fantasy above all else,but my reality to it seems to be somewhat of a problem.....if CP were not included in a session,it would leave me completely unfulfilled however.

Its that old chessnut of fantasy verses reality....what should i do?

Everyone is different Balacano and many dream of the worst.

What is important is that you enjoy the occasion with your Domme. A good mistress will be able to help you extend your limits over time. The time itself could take years. If I look back at my own progress I would say that in the time I began to session regularly there have been occasions when the pain did become just about bearable on occasions during training. However as said earlier, a good mistress will be able to help you push your limits. You will have to play your part too. At times the going will be tough and you have to ask yourself what you want out of it. Stay the course and I can assure you it will be a journey well worth taking. That's about as best a solution I can give as a complete masochist myself. The gain comes when you push yourself through it. It isn't for everyone but for those willing, it really gets better over time and the fantasy can become reality. The high will stay with you for days.

I wish you many happy sessions

balacano · 10-01-2012, 19:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by CP Bliss

Everyone is different Balacano and many dream of the worst.

What is important is that you enjoy the occasion with your Domme. A good mistress will be able to help you extend your limits over time. The time itself could take years. If I look back at my own progress I would say that in the time I began to session regularly there have been occasions when the pain did become just about bearable on occasions during training. However as said earlier, a good mistress will be able to help you push your limits. You will have to play your part too. At times the going will be tough and you have to ask yourself what you want out of it. Stay the course and I can assure you it will be a journey well worth taking. That's about as best a solution I can give as a complete masochist myself. The gain comes when you push yourself through it. It isn't for everyone but for those willing, it really gets better over time and the fantasy can become reality. The high will stay with you for days.

I wish you many happy sessions

....thank you very much for your very good and experienced advise....much appreciated.

....actually,a period of time has elapsed since starting this thread and im happy to say that ive progressed with CP to a reasonably higher level and have been able to withstand considerably more than previously.

....not withstanding an annoying medical problem i have though,ive been able to take some fairly heavy strokes from various implements,such as riding crops,tawses and some fairly thick canes,but with the added protection of padded plasters and M.S underpants!

....the "after effect" feeling of soreness,especially sitting down,is a terribly delicious pain for me and a reminder of the severity of the session.

....so i guess you could say im progressing in the right direction!

27-08-2011, 15:06	#11
mattlad Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 16 Reputation: 10	How have you felt a couple of hours after the session balacano? Do you regret using the safeword and wish you had taken some more or do you feel the same as when you stopped the session? __________________ Exigua pars est vitae quam nos vivimus. (The part of life we really live is short)-Seneca Vivir con miedo es como vivir a medias. (A life lived in fear is a life half lived)-(unkown)

27-08-2011, 17:08	#12
subpet Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Manchester Posts: 31 Reputation: 10	Hi I recently experienced subspace as mentioned by numqata through a CP session (an like you my pain threshold is low) - it was fantastic. Much is to to with trust - trust that your Mistress will not harm you (and this comes from developing a relationship with your Mistress over time - Rome was not built in a day) and as subtle as said much is down to devloping a breathing technique. My Mistress taught me to take slow deep breaths - in through the nose and out through the mouth which helps a lot. There is evidence that slow breathing reduces pain. Developing a trusting relationship is key to extending boundaries - trust is the key. I think most of this is a mental rather than a physical thing, although that is not to say physical conditions are not important - some sessions I can take more pain than others for a variety of reasons. I am very fortunate in serving a wonderful Mistress and there are some good accounts on her blog ( http://www.mistressbrown.com/#/blog/4552628613 - esp 23rd July 2011)- some people are able to take severe beatings but I like you, cannot at the moment. __________________ subpet owned by and loyal pet to Mistress Buffy Brown http://www.mistressbrown.com/#/introduction/4548308388

08-09-2011, 17:58	#15
cpexplorer Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 19 Reputation: 10	Hi Balcano, There are a number of things you could do. My suggestions are: 1. Cut down the number of implements you're playing with. You say you "only got as far as the riding crop". But, the riding crop can be a very nasty implement. I'd choose as few as 2-3 implements you know you prefer and concentrate on these. 2. Wear a pair of tight shorts. E.g. M&S do some good thin, silky underwear. The Calvin Klein ones are a bit thick. Try building up talking punishment over the shorts before moving on to the bare. Especially with the cane, it can be very authentic as well as not so severe over shorts. 3. Get a lightweight cane (e.g. Quality Control Kooboo). Most dommes use rattan canes, because Kooboo doesn't really stand up to frequent, severe use. This may be a better way to build up to taking a caning. 4. Don't leave the cane until the end. After a brief warm-up try to take just 6strokes of the cane - or even just 3 strokes of the cane if you want to play safe. Then go back to more spanking/warm-up. Each time you cycle round to the cane, you have to take more. Although, with this approach, you could settle for no more than 6 at one time. This might make the whole experience more interesting as well as letting you build up your tolerance. Although it's a very common approach for a domme to work her way through a whole range of implements, before eventually moving on to the cane and then caning long and hard, this is not necessarily a good way to build up someone's tolerance. Also, if you really want/need the cane, it's something of a tragedy if they lie unused throughout the session.