UKM - How long to stay after sesson? - UK

mikeyports · 22-10-2012, 22:57

I have had a few sessions with diffrent Mistresses recentley and I think a good end to a session should be a chat over a cuppa.

My last Mistress use to do this and the few I have sceen since do.

But do not want to over stay my welcome and said to one Mistress after a good chat(20mins) must be going and I think she was a bit shocked I wanted to go.

what is the right thing to do?

22-10-2012, 23:19

A subject which seems alien to me I have to say. How long should you stay after a session? The only logical answer I can give is no longer than your Mistress is willing to furnish you with, staying after a session isn't to be expected.

After I session I permit about ten minutes or so (if I feel it's required) to let them catch their breath and for me to provide a little post session aftercare. Asking if there are any aches or pains I need to be made aware of, if they are light headed or at all feeling something I need to know. After that I see them out.

Sitting around drinking tea just wouldn't work for me. Over familiarity makes me loose interest and if they do become over familiar I cut them and won't see them again. Obviously I take a certain level of interest in my subs but tea? It's not my cuppa!

Each to her own.

mikeyports · 22-10-2012, 23:37

Ana I dont expect it but agree a sub does need 10 mins + aftercare

But that is the way A lot of Mistresses that do end the session with a cappa

As you say to each ther own.

posh-sub · 23-10-2012, 00:08

In my experience both parties generally enjoy a little post-session chat.

Domme's don't like to be treated like a working girl with a quick "thanks, love - I'll be off now!" and equally clients really do need a bit of time to get themselves together and come down to earth.

But how long? Well - obviously - it will be different with each occasion. But 10 - 15 minutes seems about right. In general, I think one can 'sense' when the conversation is becoming a bit sparse and the top-up of tea/coffee is not as forthcoming, or when the post-session tidying is getting a bit 'obvious'.

In short, Mikey, trust your instincts, I am sure it will be obvious when it happens.

Peace & Love
poshie

23-10-2012, 04:24

What poshie said mikey - trust your own instincts

I stay quite a while but that's because we know each other well and we are gossiping etc. It would be different with someone new - or much newer to me

subtle · 23-10-2012, 06:31

I remember once being told I couldn't leave for quite some time because I was too spaced out.

Either that or she just couldn't bear to see me go.

balacano · 23-10-2012, 15:00

.....i normally have about 20 mins or so with my Domme(but i have to make her the cuppa!)(which i love!)....natter and aftercare i believe is an essential part of the session.

.....on one occasion she asked me for a lift in my car back to her home,which i was only too happy to do,on another occasion She invited me to a "vanilla" party She was having at her place.....i was very touched by the trust and friendliness of this and recipricated by disclosing my address and private phone number. Sadly I couldnt attend as i was going on holiday at that time.

....i think this all depends on how your relationship with your Domme is and clearly will not suit everyone.

Mistress Susannah · 23-10-2012, 16:34

I tell those who are coming to see me to leave at least an extra hour free - that combines a brief chat at the start and a chance for them to shower and wind down at the end. I make sure I've got a couple of hours extra free because sometimes they need a little longer - not often though.

It's usually 15-20mins with a cuppa at the end. Most of my regulars are friends too and seeing as my sessions are pretty high protocol, it's really nice to catch up afterwards. But then I have regulars who have to dash back to work - that's not a problem either - nor is the 4 hour session in the pub if we've both decided on that! I have, once or twice, stopped people from leaving after one cup and made them another. The guys in question were driving and I wasn't convinced they'd quite recovered!

Every Mistress is different though Mikey - I don't think there is a standard on this one. If a Mistress offers a cup of tea, I imagine she wants you to stay. If she doesn't, one imagines she doesn't want you to stay. If you're ever worried then just talk to them. An email after the event saying "thank you for the cuppa, I hope I didn't outstay my welcome" and her response to that will tell you whether you're treading the right line.

23-10-2012, 17:40

It is also worth keeping in mind that not every Mistress owns the premises she may be hosting her sessions from. In that case staying too long after a session is something that she may not be in a position to offer.

23-10-2012, 18:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ana

It is also worth keeping in mind that not every Mistress owns the premises she may be hosting her sessions from. In that case staying too long after a session is something that she may not be in a position to offer.

The super mistress I'm seing at the moment always knocks up a cuppa before and after the session, in all two hours session and chat.

Happy days or what.

22-10-2012, 22:57	#1
mikeyports Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: portsmouth Posts: 944 Reputation: 59	How long to stay after sesson? I have had a few sessions with diffrent Mistresses recentley and I think a good end to a session should be a chat over a cuppa. My last Mistress use to do this and the few I have sceen since do. But do not want to over stay my welcome and said to one Mistress after a good chat(20mins) must be going and I think she was a bit shocked I wanted to go. what is the right thing to do? __________________ don't judge people i accept them There is not a person that breathes that does not have peculiaritys as long as it does not hurt anyone its OK by me.(cant stop the music) [live life and have a beautiful ending https://twitter.com/Elainasslut

22-10-2012, 23:37	#3
mikeyports Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: portsmouth Posts: 944 Reputation: 59	Ana I dont expect it but agree a sub does need 10 mins + aftercare But that is the way A lot of Mistresses that do end the session with a cappa As you say to each ther own. __________________ don't judge people i accept them There is not a person that breathes that does not have peculiaritys as long as it does not hurt anyone its OK by me.(cant stop the music) [live life and have a beautiful ending https://twitter.com/Elainasslut

23-10-2012, 04:24	#5
Lisal Guest Posts: n/a	What poshie said mikey - trust your own instincts I stay quite a while but that's because we know each other well and we are gossiping etc. It would be different with someone new - or much newer to me Last edited by Lisal; 23-10-2012 at 11:54.

23-10-2012, 15:00	#7
balacano Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 370 Reputation: 13	.....i normally have about 20 mins or so with my Domme(but i have to make her the cuppa!)(which i love!)....natter and aftercare i believe is an essential part of the session. .....on one occasion she asked me for a lift in my car back to her home,which i was only too happy to do,on another occasion She invited me to a "vanilla" party She was having at her place.....i was very touched by the trust and friendliness of this and recipricated by disclosing my address and private phone number. Sadly I couldnt attend as i was going on holiday at that time. ....i think this all depends on how your relationship with your Domme is and clearly will not suit everyone. __________________ In servitude and worship of the antipodean Goddess Mistress Paris.... http://www.mistressparis.co.uk/

23-10-2012, 16:34	#8
Mistress Susannah Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: South East London Posts: 732 Reputation: 112	I tell those who are coming to see me to leave at least an extra hour free - that combines a brief chat at the start and a chance for them to shower and wind down at the end. I make sure I've got a couple of hours extra free because sometimes they need a little longer - not often though. It's usually 15-20mins with a cuppa at the end. Most of my regulars are friends too and seeing as my sessions are pretty high protocol, it's really nice to catch up afterwards. But then I have regulars who have to dash back to work - that's not a problem either - nor is the 4 hour session in the pub if we've both decided on that! I have, once or twice, stopped people from leaving after one cup and made them another. The guys in question were driving and I wasn't convinced they'd quite recovered! Every Mistress is different though Mikey - I don't think there is a standard on this one. If a Mistress offers a cup of tea, I imagine she wants you to stay. If she doesn't, one imagines she doesn't want you to stay. If you're ever worried then just talk to them. An email after the event saying "thank you for the cuppa, I hope I didn't outstay my welcome" and her response to that will tell you whether you're treading the right line. __________________ http://www.mistresssusannah.co.uk

22-10-2012, 23:19	#2
Ana Guest Posts: n/a	A subject which seems alien to me I have to say. How long should you stay after a session? The only logical answer I can give is no longer than your Mistress is willing to furnish you with, staying after a session isn't to be expected. After I session I permit about ten minutes or so (if I feel it's required) to let them catch their breath and for me to provide a little post session aftercare. Asking if there are any aches or pains I need to be made aware of, if they are light headed or at all feeling something I need to know. After that I see them out. Sitting around drinking tea just wouldn't work for me. Over familiarity makes me loose interest and if they do become over familiar I cut them and won't see them again. Obviously I take a certain level of interest in my subs but tea? It's not my cuppa! Each to her own.

23-10-2012, 00:08	#4
posh-sub Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Brighton Posts: 979 Reputation: 108	In my experience both parties generally enjoy a little post-session chat. Domme's don't like to be treated like a working girl with a quick "thanks, love - I'll be off now!" and equally clients really do need a bit of time to get themselves together and come down to earth. But how long? Well - obviously - it will be different with each occasion. But 10 - 15 minutes seems about right. In general, I think one can 'sense' when the conversation is becoming a bit sparse and the top-up of tea/coffee is not as forthcoming, or when the post-session tidying is getting a bit 'obvious'. In short, Mikey, trust your instincts, I am sure it will be obvious when it happens. Peace & Love poshie

23-10-2012, 06:31	#6
subtle Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 1,037 Reputation: 190	I remember once being told I couldn't leave for quite some time because I was too spaced out. Either that or she just couldn't bear to see me go.

23-10-2012, 17:40	#9
Ana Guest Posts: n/a	It is also worth keeping in mind that not every Mistress owns the premises she may be hosting her sessions from. In that case staying too long after a session is something that she may not be in a position to offer.