UK - Mistresses  

Go Back   UK - Mistresses > BDSM Discussions > Discussions of Interest

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 17-06-2013, 22:42   #11
Mistress Susannah
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: South East London
Posts: 732
Reputation: 112
Mistress Susannah will become famous soon enoughMistress Susannah will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisal View Post

Do you get days when you just don't feel like it? I think most of us do get those - well, I did when I was working anyway

How hard is it to motivate yourself to session in those circumstances?
I can't remember ever feeling like that if I'm honest. Don't forget that us selective Dommes may only see 2,3 or 4 people each week. It's not as if we have to get up and session every single day at 7am. I have my own psychological build up to the session, just like all of you. Once the day arrives it's never been something that I didn't feel like doing.

I have been ill in the past.... and usually I've been able to cancel the day before.... on maybe one or two occasions, I've had to cancel on the day.... but I've made sure to do it hours before the session.

I'm very much NOT a morning person. So I make sure I schedule my sessions past 12pm if at all possible. If I sessioned in the morning, my answer maybe different!!
Mistress Susannah is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-06-2013, 06:59   #12
Lady Anna
Member
 
Lady Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,827
Reputation: 105
Lady Anna will become famous soon enoughLady Anna will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by subtle View Post
Good idea, MA. This question crosses my mind every so often -

When a client sees you on a regular basis, do you have an idea of where you hope to take them in time? Does it differ completely from one individual to the next, or are there certain common goals or aspirations you have for them?

I guess this is a question about the extent to which you feel there's a philosophy underlying what you do. Nowadays it's probably the first question I would want to ask a Mistress I was interested in seeing.

Which might sound a bit weird, I guess.
Most of my clients have similar goals but the method of getting them there are very individual and even differ on a day to day basis. My type of session and what can be achieved depend entirely upon the client's state of mind on the day. If a client arrives a bit flustered, or anxious or nervous then we may not achieve the goal at all. Others relax very quickly and surprise me by acheiving the goal so easily. The pre session chat is vital as it helps me to ascertain how well the next two or three hours will go, and gives the client chance to calm down or offload some worries before we get started.

I never plan. I may have an idea and prepare what may be needed but what I actually do is often different because I have to read the client and assess what he can take, or can't quite take that day. I may get a new idea during one activity that needs developing, or something just isn't working so I stop early and switch to something else seamlessly so that the client doesn't feel let down. Despite me being in charge the sessions are client-led. He just doesn't know it.

The same regular, even after seeing me for years and years will have a different reaction every session, usually depending on his state of mind that day. The goal is sometimes easy, sometimes difficult, and the journey getting there can be just as diverse. No two sessions are the same. Ever. I'm always surprised or intrigued by reactions and results. The human body is a law unto itself.

The philosophy is the same. Let's take our time and see what happens. Every moment is training and experience for all of us: me, you and your subconscious. If something doesn't quite work we'll review it, discuss it and then amend the process next time and see what happens then. If it does work then good, lets remember it but let's also try and tweak it and see what happens then too.
__________________
"Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.” - Unknown

The Anna List Medical Fetish Clinic - Extreme Breath Play, Realistic Medical Play
Medical Mistress & Breathplay Specialist
Lady Anna is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-06-2013, 07:12   #13
Lady Anna
Member
 
Lady Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,827
Reputation: 105
Lady Anna will become famous soon enoughLady Anna will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisal View Post
And a question from myself

Do you get days when you just don't feel like it? I think most of us do get those - well, I did when I was working anyway

How hard is it to motivate yourself to session in those circumstances?
Often, over the years, and depending on what's going on in my own life.

It's a natural reaction to try and avoid something that is going to take a mental toll on me. I can only see a max of 4 clients a week (depending on session lengths) because otherwise I'm mentally drained and zombied out. I usually only see 2 or 3 because I know that this is close to my limit. I'm an all or nothing sort of PD. I won't session just to get the money in, because my sanity is worth more than cash. I have pride in what I do. I limit how often i session so I don't burn out, but session enough to support my lifestyle.

Motivation is easy though, I get ready, get into my car, and as soon as I'm on my way I start to get into the mind state that I need to be. I review past sessions, note the progression and consider potential next steps. By the time I reach my premises I'm ready to go and by the time my client is sat before me I'm raring to go. I think this is why I'm so easily annoyed by clients who can't or wont follow instructions. I need time to get into the zone too and irritations throw me off balance and ruin my state of mind. I can pull back of course, I've been a pro for a number of years, but I'd rather not have to.
__________________
"Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.” - Unknown

The Anna List Medical Fetish Clinic - Extreme Breath Play, Realistic Medical Play
Medical Mistress & Breathplay Specialist

Last edited by Lady Anna; 18-06-2013 at 07:20.
Lady Anna is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-06-2013, 08:09   #14
Anitafan
Member
 
Anitafan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 267
Reputation: 53
Anitafan will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Anna View Post

Motivation is easy though, I get ready, get into my car, and as soon as I'm on my way I start to get into the mind state that I need to be. I review past sessions, note the progression and consider potential next steps. By the time I reach my premises I'm ready to go and by the time my client is sat before me I'm raring to go. I think this is why I'm so easily annoyed by clients who can't or wont follow instructions. I need time to get into the zone too and irritations throw me off balance and ruin my state of mind.
Explained as you do above LA, it is very reasonable for you to get annoyed by people who do not turn up on properly time.

I must say that I have empathy with you now - which is not the reaction that I had a few months ago when you were complaining about people not following instructions.
Anitafan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-06-2013, 08:11   #15
Mistress Adore
Moderator
 
Mistress Adore's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,730
Reputation: 104
Mistress Adore will become famous soon enoughMistress Adore will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisal View Post
And a question from myself

Do you get days when you just don't feel like it? I think most of us do get those - well, I did when I was working anyway

How hard is it to motivate yourself to session in those circumstances?
I remember earlier this year, I woke up, simply not in the mood to session.
It surprised me as I do not usually feel like this.
The gent I was going to see was new, had booked his session a long time in advance and for some reason I just was not looking forward to it.

Well I turned the music up in the car as I drove to the chambers, when I got there I decided to get my f***ing machine out (oh think i may do that again today lol) and found three masks I thought I had lost, so that cheered me up.

Once the guy came in he was so very nervous bless, he could hardly bring himself to verbalise the things he had mentioned on his form and in the following emails.

I decided to tell him I was just going to do what I wanted and would watch his reactions, after about 15 mins, I could feel I was getting nowhere, he was just to nervous.
There was one thing he had mentioned to me, but thought it would be best left until he got to know me better and trusted me.
I thought ok i am going to do it, and what a change in the session, the gent, the atmosphere, I could see his confidence grow and the session was transformed.

So maybe my not in the mood was something picked up from the emails, maybe it was my mood on the day, maybe it was a gut feeling. The session could have went either way very easily. One thing is for sure though, the day I wake up thinking oh damn I HAVE to session, is the day i stop doing it.

Last edited by Mistress Adore; 29-02-2016 at 11:04.
Mistress Adore is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-06-2013, 08:41   #16
D_List
Member
 
D_List's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Bradford
Posts: 204
Reputation: 54
D_List will become famous soon enough
Default

It is like any job isn't it? Good days and bad days. Days when you are raring to go and days when it's a struggle.

I enjoy my job but sometimes I just don't want to do it. But you get going, get into the head space and away you go.
D_List is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-06-2013, 08:41   #17
Lady Anna
Member
 
Lady Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,827
Reputation: 105
Lady Anna will become famous soon enoughLady Anna will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anitafan View Post
Explained as you do above LA, it is very reasonable for you to get annoyed by people who do not turn up on properly time.

I must say that I have empathy with you now - which is not the reaction that I had a few months ago when you were complaining about people not following instructions.

Thank you

Interestingly I only realised why I got so aggravated after moaning about it several times on here. It made me think rather than just react.

Discussion is good.
__________________
"Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.” - Unknown

The Anna List Medical Fetish Clinic - Extreme Breath Play, Realistic Medical Play
Medical Mistress & Breathplay Specialist
Lady Anna is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-06-2013, 08:51   #18
Mistress Adore
Moderator
 
Mistress Adore's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,730
Reputation: 104
Mistress Adore will become famous soon enoughMistress Adore will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Anna View Post
Thank you

Interestingly I only realised why I got so aggravated after moaning about it several times on here. It made me think rather than just react.

Discussion is good.
This is why i started this thread, i am pleased i did now.
Mistress Adore is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-06-2013, 10:17   #19
jon123
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 793
Reputation: 165
jon123 has a spectacular aura aboutjon123 has a spectacular aura about
Default

1. What are your thoughts on online domination?

2. Have you ever sessioned outside the North East? Would you ever consider it?

3. Why do I go weak at the knees when I read your website, especially the darkest one? (OK, I'm not really expecting a serious reply to this one). Perhaps I should ask instead, what are your hopes for this part of your website?
jon123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-06-2013, 15:10   #20
Lisal
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by D_List View Post
It is like any job isn't it? Good days and bad days. Days when you are raring to go and days when it's a struggle.

I enjoy my job but sometimes I just don't want to do it. But you get going, get into the head space and away you go.
D List in "PDing is just like any other job" shock comment

Only joking only joking



I think the level of interaction on a personal basis does make it a bit different to many (not all) jobs. The dommes on here (and others I know) have said they can only do so many sessions a week which does indicate that there is something a bit more intense about it
  Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 06:28.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.0 Beta 2
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.