UKM - Handling breakups - UK

geordiesouth · 14-09-2018, 10:48

A girlfriend of mine went through a painful separation a while back.
Husbands business taking him abroad more often, kids leaving for uni etc.
He left her for a woman half his age.

So she coped as you do I suppose. Thinking for a long time that he would return to her. Never happened and she found comfort in a local church community.
Not so much a church as a hall. I’ve been cos she asked me to attend her baptism.
The congregation appear to be all about spreading the word of Jesus and teaching etc.

Now that’s all very well and I’m happy my friend seems be getting on with her life nowadays. But it’s like every time I see her. We chat for a while as friends do. But then it always comes around to her wanting or needing to tell me religious stuff.
She is nice and she is well aware of my non beliefs. But it doesn’t stop her.

I think I am her lamb that needs saving.

But it’s getting boring now and I can’t be bothered to put up an argument anymore. I hate the idea of not seeing my friend anymore. But I know it will come to that if she doesn’t stop.
Maybe I can have a word with her pastor or whatever he’s called. Get her sent on some missionary expedition or something.

geordiesouth · 14-09-2018, 10:49

Oh god I thought it best to clarify.
When I say girlfriend of mine. I meant a girl who is a friend of mine.

Lisal · 14-09-2018, 12:02

I have to say as I have got older I have cut back on friendships where there isn't much in it for me. I had a couple where the friends only ever contacted me when they wanted a shoulder to cry on. I don't mind (we all need someone) but there was no or little interest in me.

I really want to spend time now with people who mean a lot to me and are on the same wavelength. I had a meal for a big birthday recently. 17 of us and everyone got on brilliantly - even two or three who were with us for the first time.

I was pretty careful who I asked. I have one old friend who is good company in small groups (2 or 3) but is selfish and wouldn't have fitted in. One or two people said to me they were pleased he wasn't there as he can change the atmosphere by himself!

Barstool · 14-09-2018, 12:36

Strange isn`t it, as we get older and wiser-ish most people become `aware` of `situations` more redilly.

I too have cut down, albeit subliminally, on friends, and now just mix with a few who I know are real buddies.

I really couldn`t stand the bickering and petty competition which was occuring within a few groups whom we saw regularly...basically we now only go out with folk who we feel comfortable with, and I really don`t care if people take the huff....

As regards friends who turn to the baby jesus or whoever....any port in a storm, religion is just a crutch after all, if it helps them that`s brilliant but if, and when they start `spreading the word` and looking down their noses at you because you haven`t seen the light yet for me at least, they can`t hold your friendship in too high an esteem, a close friend is of much higher value than any of the gods or their slavish followers, in my opinion at least

14-09-2018, 17:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by geordiesouth

…….But it’s like every time I see her. We chat for a while as friends do. But then it always comes around to her wanting or needing to tell me religious stuff.

Its called brain washing ……………. this type of brain washing has been going on for at least 2 millennia

geordiesouth · 14-09-2018, 20:37

She’s on a mission to save me.

Oh if she only knew !!!

14-09-2018, 10:48	#1
geordiesouth Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 7,239 Reputation: 108	Handling breakups A girlfriend of mine went through a painful separation a while back. Husbands business taking him abroad more often, kids leaving for uni etc. He left her for a woman half his age. So she coped as you do I suppose. Thinking for a long time that he would return to her. Never happened and she found comfort in a local church community. Not so much a church as a hall. I’ve been cos she asked me to attend her baptism. The congregation appear to be all about spreading the word of Jesus and teaching etc. Now that’s all very well and I’m happy my friend seems be getting on with her life nowadays. But it’s like every time I see her. We chat for a while as friends do. But then it always comes around to her wanting or needing to tell me religious stuff. She is nice and she is well aware of my non beliefs. But it doesn’t stop her. I think I am her lamb that needs saving. But it’s getting boring now and I can’t be bothered to put up an argument anymore. I hate the idea of not seeing my friend anymore. But I know it will come to that if she doesn’t stop. Maybe I can have a word with her pastor or whatever he’s called. Get her sent on some missionary expedition or something. __________________ A girls gotta have somewhere to park her bike.

14-09-2018, 10:49	#2
geordiesouth Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 7,239 Reputation: 108	Oh god I thought it best to clarify. When I say girlfriend of mine. I meant a girl who is a friend of mine. __________________ A girls gotta have somewhere to park her bike.

14-09-2018, 12:02	#3
Lisal Member Join Date: Sep 2014 Posts: 11,282 Reputation: 973	I have to say as I have got older I have cut back on friendships where there isn't much in it for me. I had a couple where the friends only ever contacted me when they wanted a shoulder to cry on. I don't mind (we all need someone) but there was no or little interest in me. I really want to spend time now with people who mean a lot to me and are on the same wavelength. I had a meal for a big birthday recently. 17 of us and everyone got on brilliantly - even two or three who were with us for the first time. I was pretty careful who I asked. I have one old friend who is good company in small groups (2 or 3) but is selfish and wouldn't have fitted in. One or two people said to me they were pleased he wasn't there as he can change the atmosphere by himself! Last edited by Lisal; 14-09-2018 at 12:58.

14-09-2018, 12:36	#4
Barstool Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 1,306 Reputation: 40	Strange isn`t it, as we get older and wiser-ish most people become `aware` of `situations` more redilly. I too have cut down, albeit subliminally, on friends, and now just mix with a few who I know are real buddies. I really couldn`t stand the bickering and petty competition which was occuring within a few groups whom we saw regularly...basically we now only go out with folk who we feel comfortable with, and I really don`t care if people take the huff.... As regards friends who turn to the baby jesus or whoever....any port in a storm, religion is just a crutch after all, if it helps them that`s brilliant but if, and when they start `spreading the word` and looking down their noses at you because you haven`t seen the light yet for me at least, they can`t hold your friendship in too high an esteem, a close friend is of much higher value than any of the gods or their slavish followers, in my opinion at least __________________ Go for the happy endings, because life doesn’t have any sequels. If you keep chasing yesterday, you’re going to miss tomorrow.

14-09-2018, 20:37	#6
geordiesouth Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 7,239 Reputation: 108	She’s on a mission to save me. Oh if she only knew !!! __________________ A girls gotta have somewhere to park her bike.