UKM - CP....fantasy verses reality. - UK

balacano · 25-08-2011, 14:40

Ive just had another session with a Mistress here in the south east in which CP was the main preference subject.Its now my third time that ive asked for CP as the main subject and although the session itself was successful,each session with CP has left me partially unfulfilled.

The main problem is that in reality i simply cant take as much of this form of punishment as the fantasy ive dreamed about....each time ive been given a good warm up and the implements used were thoughtfully administered,but in the last session we only got as far as a riding crop,before i had to bleat out my safe word.....so i never got to any of the canes which id excitedly looked at layed out before i was strapped down....so that was disappointing.

I wouldnt say that i was a "complete wimp" and i truely would love to take more strokes with more severe implements,but my pain receivers seem to shout "no!".

CP has always been my BDSM fantasy above all else,but my reality to it seems to be somewhat of a problem.....if CP were not included in a session,it would leave me completely unfulfilled however.

Its that old chessnut of fantasy verses reality....what should i do?

Fidel · 25-08-2011, 16:58

Hi balcano

The problem lieth within your own mind, what I mean is and its been said before, reality can be even better than fantasy but also reality can be very different to reality.

In my own mind I like ballbusting and in my mind my Mistress stands me up against a wall and kicks me in the nuts 20 times, hard, but the reality is I have the most sensitive nads in the world! Just a little tap on them and I feel sick, on the three occasions I have tried ballbusting, each time I passed out!! Time to accept that this is not for me!!

Yours is with CP and I imagine in your mind you can take 200 strokes with the cane, with her delivering them at full force? or something like that?

I used to be the same but to overcome it and start enjoying it you have to stop setting yourself up to fail, dont give yourself a number of how many you can take, your Mistress will know your limits most probably more than you. Not many can take lots of thrashings, we all have limits, you need to recognise your own limits and enjoy what you can do and I think importantly just because you cant do certain things or take certain things does not make you any less of a slave, I am sure you excel at other things.

Recognise that like us all you have limits.

25-08-2011, 19:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by balacano

Ive just had another session with a Mistress here in the south east in which CP was the main preference subject.Its now my third time that ive asked for CP as the main subject and although the session itself was successful,each session with CP has left me partially unfulfilled.

The main problem is that in reality i simply cant take as much of this form of punishment as the fantasy ive dreamed about....each time ive been given a good warm up and the implements used were thoughtfully administered,but in the last session we only got as far as a riding crop,before i had to bleat out my safe word.....so i never got to any of the canes which id excitedly looked at layed out before i was strapped down....so that was disappointing.

I wouldnt say that i was a "complete wimp" and i truely would love to take more strokes with more severe implements,but my pain receivers seem to shout "no!".

CP has always been my BDSM fantasy above all else,but my reality to it seems to be somewhat of a problem.....if CP were not included in a session,it would leave me completely unfulfilled however.

Its that old chessnut of fantasy verses reality....what should i do?

Good post.

Yes It's a good fantasy for me too, but as soon as she's delivered the canning, I can't stand the pain, I have to beg her her to stop,it's just unbearable and she assures me she hasn't got out of 1st gear yet

This particular mistress is very well known and very experienced, so I believe her.

Another problem is Marks,

.........I go to the gym every day, so it would look odd, all wrapped up in towels walking to the showers

B R

subtle · 25-08-2011, 20:26

I think there are lots of different dreams and realities connected with caning.

Perhaps your dream of caning is bound up with a conclusion or resolution which the real thing is unlikely to deliver. Or perhaps the kinds of caning you've experienced so far haven't really appealed to you.

I think these things are much easier if you surrender more completely to the other party, and allow them to take some real control.

Breathing helps a lot, as does letting the pain flow through your body, instead of resisting it at the point of impact. It's only temporary, after all. It won't last, but while it does it may take you to some very beautiful places. These places may not be the places you imagined you would visit

balacano · 25-08-2011, 21:35

Thanks for your comments and advice so far....given me food for thought.

Maybe with time and experience i may overcome the intitial "fight or flight" pain and be able to let it flow into my body....also good idea for me not to set myself any goals or limit in my mind....if only i could go into a trance like state as per the "firewalkers" or "self flagellators" do at various festivals around the world.

Perhaps practise is the one thing thats lacking at the moment for me.

Buttface · 25-08-2011, 22:44

Try not to focus on the pain and think of it as just a sensation that does not last . It is not easy but it is a mindset issue and fear can be very powerful . Perhaps you could try and think of the pleasure Mistress is enjoying with each stroke .

It seems to be a powerful trigger for you and I suggest you stay with it and you will gain a little each time . I believe we have a mental over-ride button . Our bodies tell us one thing but our mind can over rule them .

balacano · 26-08-2011, 12:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buttface

Try not to focus on the pain and think of it as just a sensation that does not last . It is not easy but it is a mindset issue and fear can be very powerful . Perhaps you could try and think of the pleasure Mistress is enjoying with each stroke .

It seems to be a powerful trigger for you and I suggest you stay with it and you will gain a little each time . I believe we have a mental over-ride button . Our bodies tell us one thing but our mind can over rule them .

...yes....im sure youre right....its just finding that "over-ride" button,which hasnt happend for me yet....but as everyone has so far said,its a mind set issue,rather than a physical one.

....oh well,early days i guess,but at least ive begun the journey.

....do any Mistresses reading this thread have any further advice or comments?....would be most welcome.

numquata · 26-08-2011, 13:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by balacano

....but as everyone has so far said,its a mind set issue,rather than a physical one.

I fully agree with the previous posts that most of this is in the mind but there are, in my view, some practical physical considerations of which we shouldn't lose sight.

The point made about marking above is well made: you’re very unlikely to be able to take ‘hard’ CP (however one defines ‘hard’ – it’s a relative term) without being marked to some extent.

It hurts! If you’re serious about going this route, I think you have to accept that the first n strokes – where n is almost any number, depending on you and even varying from session to session – will be painful. I think you need to pass that pain barrier if you’re going to get to get the full satisfaction of being caned reasonably hard. After that, with any kind of luck, the endorphins kick in and you should be able to get to some kind of equilibrium, reverie, call it what you will - some call it subspace. That is a terrific experience if you can attain that. Don’t expect to get there every time – you’ll disappoint yourself and place a burden of unrealistic expectation on your top.

IMO. E&OE etc. etc.

Slave Michael · 26-08-2011, 13:39

I have exactly the same experience with CP. There are three occassions when I was able to take a lot of strokes and even though in pain, I was comfortable. It felt painful, but I knew I could take more and more. My buttocks seemed to be absorbing the pain very well. This is usually the case with the strap (not a heavy one, but not too light either). With the cane, there have only been two occasions when I was able to take it, feel in pain, but be able to take more.

The other times when I cannot take much CP, each stroke sounds thumpy rather than stingy. Each time it hurts, but I feel that my buttocks are not spreading the pain very well and I do not want to take much more. This is in spite of a good warm up. Most of the times I was able to take CP were good days in the summer; I suppose the room temperature may be a factor.

ricci · 27-08-2011, 13:44

In my experience the extent that I can take pain depends upon the session as a whole.

If the whole session is based around just taking more and more and more CP then my pain threshold is reached a lot quicker. If, however, I am told at the start of the session that I will receive a number of strokes and they will be delivered at points throughout the session, inbetween other activities, then I can take a lot, lot more.

25-08-2011, 14:40	#1
balacano Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 370 Reputation: 13	CP....fantasy verses reality. Ive just had another session with a Mistress here in the south east in which CP was the main preference subject.Its now my third time that ive asked for CP as the main subject and although the session itself was successful,each session with CP has left me partially unfulfilled. The main problem is that in reality i simply cant take as much of this form of punishment as the fantasy ive dreamed about....each time ive been given a good warm up and the implements used were thoughtfully administered,but in the last session we only got as far as a riding crop,before i had to bleat out my safe word.....so i never got to any of the canes which id excitedly looked at layed out before i was strapped down....so that was disappointing. I wouldnt say that i was a "complete wimp" and i truely would love to take more strokes with more severe implements,but my pain receivers seem to shout "no!". CP has always been my BDSM fantasy above all else,but my reality to it seems to be somewhat of a problem.....if CP were not included in a session,it would leave me completely unfulfilled however. Its that old chessnut of fantasy verses reality....what should i do?

25-08-2011, 20:26	#4
subtle Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 1,037 Reputation: 190	I think there are lots of different dreams and realities connected with caning. Perhaps your dream of caning is bound up with a conclusion or resolution which the real thing is unlikely to deliver. Or perhaps the kinds of caning you've experienced so far haven't really appealed to you. I think these things are much easier if you surrender more completely to the other party, and allow them to take some real control. Breathing helps a lot, as does letting the pain flow through your body, instead of resisting it at the point of impact. It's only temporary, after all. It won't last, but while it does it may take you to some very beautiful places. These places may not be the places you imagined you would visit __________________ careless of where the next bright bolt may fall

25-08-2011, 16:58	#2
Fidel Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: North Wales Posts: 234 Reputation: 28	Hi balcano The problem lieth within your own mind, what I mean is and its been said before, reality can be even better than fantasy but also reality can be very different to reality. In my own mind I like ballbusting and in my mind my Mistress stands me up against a wall and kicks me in the nuts 20 times, hard, but the reality is I have the most sensitive nads in the world! Just a little tap on them and I feel sick, on the three occasions I have tried ballbusting, each time I passed out!! Time to accept that this is not for me!! Yours is with CP and I imagine in your mind you can take 200 strokes with the cane, with her delivering them at full force? or something like that? I used to be the same but to overcome it and start enjoying it you have to stop setting yourself up to fail, dont give yourself a number of how many you can take, your Mistress will know your limits most probably more than you. Not many can take lots of thrashings, we all have limits, you need to recognise your own limits and enjoy what you can do and I think importantly just because you cant do certain things or take certain things does not make you any less of a slave, I am sure you excel at other things. Recognise that like us all you have limits.

25-08-2011, 21:35	#5
balacano Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 370 Reputation: 13	Thanks for your comments and advice so far....given me food for thought. Maybe with time and experience i may overcome the intitial "fight or flight" pain and be able to let it flow into my body....also good idea for me not to set myself any goals or limit in my mind....if only i could go into a trance like state as per the "firewalkers" or "self flagellators" do at various festivals around the world. Perhaps practise is the one thing thats lacking at the moment for me.

25-08-2011, 22:44	#6
Buttface Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: south coast Posts: 262 Reputation: 10	Try not to focus on the pain and think of it as just a sensation that does not last . It is not easy but it is a mindset issue and fear can be very powerful . Perhaps you could try and think of the pleasure Mistress is enjoying with each stroke . It seems to be a powerful trigger for you and I suggest you stay with it and you will gain a little each time . I believe we have a mental over-ride button . Our bodies tell us one thing but our mind can over rule them .

26-08-2011, 13:39	#9
Slave Michael Member Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 36 Reputation: 10	I have exactly the same experience with CP. There are three occassions when I was able to take a lot of strokes and even though in pain, I was comfortable. It felt painful, but I knew I could take more and more. My buttocks seemed to be absorbing the pain very well. This is usually the case with the strap (not a heavy one, but not too light either). With the cane, there have only been two occasions when I was able to take it, feel in pain, but be able to take more. The other times when I cannot take much CP, each stroke sounds thumpy rather than stingy. Each time it hurts, but I feel that my buttocks are not spreading the pain very well and I do not want to take much more. This is in spite of a good warm up. Most of the times I was able to take CP were good days in the summer; I suppose the room temperature may be a factor.

27-08-2011, 13:44	#10
ricci Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 133 Reputation: 10	In my experience the extent that I can take pain depends upon the session as a whole. If the whole session is based around just taking more and more and more CP then my pain threshold is reached a lot quicker. If, however, I am told at the start of the session that I will receive a number of strokes and they will be delivered at points throughout the session, inbetween other activities, then I can take a lot, lot more.