UKM - Has it become too serious? - UK

26-12-2011, 15:25

Okies I admit it's the festive season and ... well things happen and I can think too much

But I session for fun and enjoyment (hers and mine) and I look around (particularly on IC) and see people thinking and analysing about relationships and PD sessions and I just feel is it worth doing this all the time?

Why not just go with the flow - and this applies to sub and dom/mes alike

Mistress Adore · 28-12-2011, 21:52

100% agree with you, if its not fun, whats the point ?

I enjoy my sessions, i like to play with my subs and smile, laugh and take the mick out of my subs during sessions, each to their own but if i had all straight faced sessions with no humour i would have walked away years ago x

ji_scott · 29-12-2011, 01:23

I agree.

When I send an email to a Domme I haven't seen before, I say that I like my sessions to be a time of play, where she is causing me pain and we both enjoy ourselves.

I've had a 100% success rate getting Dommes to see me and almost a 100% success rate of having the sessions turn out that way.

mag108 · 29-12-2011, 07:16

Quote:

But I session for fun and enjoyment (hers and mine) and I look around (particularly on IC) and see people thinking and analysing about relationships and PD sessions and I just feel is it worth doing this all the time?

Fun and enjoyment are obviously part of it. For some, there's more to it than that. S&M play can trigger all sorts of feelings and emotions amd can set people to thinking and analysing about their steps along the path. If people are doing this they must feel it's worth it and I wouldn't put them down.

I'm grateful to folk who share their experiences and thoughts here and elsewhere and want to talk about it. There's always something to learn.

29-12-2011, 08:39

BDSM is fun for me, I do know people "in the scene" that believe it is more than just fun and become evangelical about BDSM which is fine until they step over the line and try to dictate to everyone else what should be, to be honest there are not too many of these but they are quite vocal, more a legend in their own tea break than anything more important than that.

scapey · 29-12-2011, 11:09

As others have said It had to be fun so that both got enjoyment from it.
Some will question themselves and others just to show how clever and deep they can be. Its part of 'the act' to them

ex nihilo · 29-12-2011, 12:27

'It is what it is' and 'I yam what I yam'

Hoping for 'WYSIWYG' in 2012

posh-sub · 29-12-2011, 12:34

Mag108 makes a fair point. There are those who derive pleasure from the process of soul-searching the subject. And there are others who enjoy joining in and (perhaps) learning something from it.

But for me - well - it's what Lisal said.

Peace & Love
poshie

29-12-2011, 12:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by mag108

Fun and enjoyment are obviously part of it. For some, there's more to it than that. S&M play can trigger all sorts of feelings and emotions amd can set people to thinking and analysing about their steps along the path. If people are doing this they must feel it's worth it and I wouldn't put them down.

I'm grateful to folk who share their experiences and thoughts here and elsewhere and want to talk about it. There's always something to learn.

You make very good points which I agree with. I've done the thinking and analysing myself (and still do on and off

)

It's more the deadly serious ones about how they play, what the dom/me/sub should do and the right way and the wrong way I was thinking of. The emotions and feelings are a different kettle of fish...

Rehrednu · 29-12-2011, 13:44

Some people go to a long running musical, others choose a Chekhov play. They're both enjoying the theatre, and having 'fun' in a way that makes works for them. Neither is right or wrong or in some way better.

It's the same with BDSM. There's no right or wrong way to enjoy it, but what does matter is that you don't impose your preferences as the only sensible way. This obviously applies to those you session with, which makes finding a compatible Domme key. But it also applies to others who post on sites like this. So anyone who wants to pour out innermost feelings - please feel free. Equally, if you know a good joke, that's cool as well.

26-12-2011, 15:25	#1
Lisal Guest Posts: n/a	Has it become too serious? Okies I admit it's the festive season and ... well things happen and I can think too much But I session for fun and enjoyment (hers and mine) and I look around (particularly on IC) and see people thinking and analysing about relationships and PD sessions and I just feel is it worth doing this all the time? Why not just go with the flow - and this applies to sub and dom/mes alike

29-12-2011, 12:27	#7
ex nihilo Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 6,520 Reputation: 31	'It is what it is' and 'I yam what I yam' Hoping for 'WYSIWYG' in 2012 __________________ “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.”

28-12-2011, 21:52	#2
Mistress Adore Moderator Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 1,730 Reputation: 104	100% agree with you, if its not fun, whats the point ? I enjoy my sessions, i like to play with my subs and smile, laugh and take the mick out of my subs during sessions, each to their own but if i had all straight faced sessions with no humour i would have walked away years ago x

29-12-2011, 01:23	#3
ji_scott Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: U.S. Posts: 113 Reputation: 10	I agree. When I send an email to a Domme I haven't seen before, I say that I like my sessions to be a time of play, where she is causing me pain and we both enjoy ourselves. I've had a 100% success rate getting Dommes to see me and almost a 100% success rate of having the sessions turn out that way.

29-12-2011, 08:39	#5
reefknot Guest Posts: n/a	BDSM is fun for me, I do know people "in the scene" that believe it is more than just fun and become evangelical about BDSM which is fine until they step over the line and try to dictate to everyone else what should be, to be honest there are not too many of these but they are quite vocal, more a legend in their own tea break than anything more important than that.

29-12-2011, 11:09	#6
scapey Posting rights removed Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Souf of England Posts: 1,216 Reputation: 24	As others have said It had to be fun so that both got enjoyment from it. Some will question themselves and others just to show how clever and deep they can be. Its part of 'the act' to them

29-12-2011, 12:34	#8
posh-sub Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Brighton Posts: 979 Reputation: 108	Mag108 makes a fair point. There are those who derive pleasure from the process of soul-searching the subject. And there are others who enjoy joining in and (perhaps) learning something from it. But for me - well - it's what Lisal said. Peace & Love poshie

29-12-2011, 13:44	#10
Rehrednu Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Midlands Posts: 318 Reputation: 60	Some people go to a long running musical, others choose a Chekhov play. They're both enjoying the theatre, and having 'fun' in a way that makes works for them. Neither is right or wrong or in some way better. It's the same with BDSM. There's no right or wrong way to enjoy it, but what does matter is that you don't impose your preferences as the only sensible way. This obviously applies to those you session with, which makes finding a compatible Domme key. But it also applies to others who post on sites like this. So anyone who wants to pour out innermost feelings - please feel free. Equally, if you know a good joke, that's cool as well.