UKM - Dommes, do you have boyfriends / husbands? - Page 5 - UK

12-09-2010, 06:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by tomato

Peter's post was very interestesting. I can see the point about a Domme wondering if a potential partner was mainly looking for an outlet for his fantasies, rather than liking her for her personality. Although that is presumably a danger for non Dommes too - a guy might just think she was a pretty face / nice pair of breasts or whatever if he was very shallow.

Any relationship that is entered into on just a single aspect like is he just seeing me to get is bum spanked or She has a nice pair of legs is doomed to fail and fail quite quickly, it might be the first attraction.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tomato

I assume most pro Dommes enjoy what they do, so having a partner who was at least slightly sub would be a plus.

Why a sub just because She is a Mistress in Her day job does not mean that's where Her kink is when off duty a proDomme by want (need) a Master, Mistress or someone who is a player as their life partner.

12-09-2010, 07:39

Geeat reply, Mistress Susannah.

Further to my previous posts, I'd like to add that the reason why I generally prefer to meet men in my other social/work circles, is because they get to know the person first. If I go as far as to reveal to them what I do for a living, for them is something else, not the one thing tht defines me.

In the scene, when I meet men, they see me as Ms Tytania, pro-Domme. Everything else I am, say or think, pales in comparison to that fact. Out of the scene, I am assessed by my lifestyle, my other career, my opinions, beliefs, my sense of humour and my looks without the whips and rubber. By the time I mention that I'm also a pro-Domme, they already have a formed opinion of me as a person. It's just another thing that makes me, me, not The One Big Thing. Because in my life, it's not that even for me.

It's sobering for most women, after you get chatted up al the time in the scene, literally accosted by men at clubs and munches, to be an ordinary, usually invisible woman in "real life". Any Domme who thinks that she is the same, irresistible siren in the vanilla world, is deluded.

But it's good to feel "just like any other girl", and that potential partners see me as an ordinary woman.

tomato · 12-09-2010, 12:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by reefknot

Why a sub just because She is a Mistress in Her day job does not mean that's where Her kink is when off duty a proDomme by want (need) a Master, Mistress or someone who is a player as their life partner.

Perhaps. It's been very interesting reading about their relationships in this thread.

TangledPanda · 17-03-2011, 16:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms_Tytania

It's sobering for most women, after you get chatted up al the time in the scene, literally accosted by men at clubs and munches, to be an ordinary, usually invisible woman in "real life".

How does this affect the PDs? To be invisible in real life? Does it make getting into the PD frame of mind harder?

09-10-2011, 20:45

I don't know how it affect "The PD's", we aren't a group, we are thousands of individuals, each one with an individual upbringing and very different lives, fears, dreams...

I know that the adulation is pat of the role play, the protocol, the etiquette in D/s. I really, really enjoy stepping out of one and into the other. i couldn't enjoy my Mistress side as much as I do, if I didn't have a very enjoyable vanilla "vanilla woman" life as well. Who wants to be like those celebs who can't go anywhere without being noticed, chased, photographed... ? Eurgh!

I like being seen as "me", and being appreciated also for the many other things I do and like, that have nothing to do with BDSM. Those are the the things that bond me to people, not the isolatd kink. I've said it before: I contain multitudes. Most Pro-Dommes I know, contain multitudes as well.

12-09-2010, 07:39	#42
Ms_Tytania Guest Posts: n/a	Geeat reply, Mistress Susannah. Further to my previous posts, I'd like to add that the reason why I generally prefer to meet men in my other social/work circles, is because they get to know the person first. If I go as far as to reveal to them what I do for a living, for them is something else, not the one thing tht defines me. In the scene, when I meet men, they see me as Ms Tytania, pro-Domme. Everything else I am, say or think, pales in comparison to that fact. Out of the scene, I am assessed by my lifestyle, my other career, my opinions, beliefs, my sense of humour and my looks without the whips and rubber. By the time I mention that I'm also a pro-Domme, they already have a formed opinion of me as a person. It's just another thing that makes me, me, not The One Big Thing. Because in my life, it's not that even for me. It's sobering for most women, after you get chatted up al the time in the scene, literally accosted by men at clubs and munches, to be an ordinary, usually invisible woman in "real life". Any Domme who thinks that she is the same, irresistible siren in the vanilla world, is deluded. But it's good to feel "just like any other girl", and that potential partners see me as an ordinary woman.

09-10-2011, 20:45	#45
Ms_Tytania Guest Posts: n/a	I don't know how it affect "The PD's", we aren't a group, we are thousands of individuals, each one with an individual upbringing and very different lives, fears, dreams... I know that the adulation is pat of the role play, the protocol, the etiquette in D/s. I really, really enjoy stepping out of one and into the other. i couldn't enjoy my Mistress side as much as I do, if I didn't have a very enjoyable vanilla "vanilla woman" life as well. Who wants to be like those celebs who can't go anywhere without being noticed, chased, photographed... ? Eurgh! I like being seen as "me", and being appreciated also for the many other things I do and like, that have nothing to do with BDSM. Those are the the things that bond me to people, not the isolatd kink. I've said it before: I contain multitudes. Most Pro-Dommes I know, contain multitudes as well.