Dictionary of BDSM Terms

This list is by no means exhaustive, but is merely intended as a guide to some of the terms you may come across on Mistress sites, in personals and elsewhere. Please remember, all the activities listed here must be consensual, and their inclusion in this list does not imply a recommendation by UKM that you should try them. If the list appears simplistic to some of you, please bear in mind that we have aimed it at the absolute novice.

24-hours, 7 days a week. Where the sub lives with, and is controlled by, the Mistress on that basis.
A, A/S, A/W:
Anal sex, to receive Anal Service, Anal Worship.
AB, Adult Babies:
Grown-ups who wish to be treated as babies. This can include the wearing of nappies, bottle feeding and changing.
Medical/psychological term for the love of pain. Colloquially known as "Masochism".
Amyl Nitrate:
A stimulant which can heighten the senses and intensify orgasm. See also 'Poppers'.
Do it Yourself. Masturbation.
It is generally accepted within the scene that these initials mean Bondage & Domination, Sadism & Masochism, but also that they are extended to Bondage & Discipline / Domination & Submission / Sadism & Masochism.
Blood Sports:
Play involving cutting, piercing or the drawing of blood.
Body Bag:
A fully enclosed rubber bag into which the slave or submissive is sealed. Used in restriction or mummification games.
Body Worship:
To kiss or lick the Mistress's body. Often the legs, feet or anus.
The generic term for practicing tying or restraint. Bondage takes many forms, including elaborate rope bondage, chains, metal handcuffs or leather restraints, as examples.
Boot Worship:
To kiss or lick the boots or shoes worn by the Mistress.
Another term for a submissive.
Breath Play:
To have one's breathing restricted or controlled.
Brown Showers:
Sometimes referred to as 'hard sports'. To be defecated upon. See also 'Scat' and 'Caviar'.
Body Modification:
To have the body modified by piercing or cutting.
There many types, sizes and models of Butt Plugs. Rubber, latex, metal, inflatable, to name but a few.
A metal cage in which the submissive is locked as part of a scene. The related term "cage of little ease" implies a cage which is so small that the submissive cannot rest in a comfortable position.
See also 'Brown Showers'. An alternative term.
Beating with a cane, usually on the buttocks, often in school-scene games.
Cat, cat-o'nine-tails
A whip consisting of nine strands of leather attached to a handle. The cat leaves lasting marks, and inflicts extreme pain if wielded harshly.
A tube inserted into the urethra, used in medical scenes. There are obvious health and safety implications associated with this type of play. See also "Sound".
Cock and Ball torture.
CBT Board:
A wooden or leather board designed to hold the penis and testicles whilst they are tortured. It is usually attached with clamps.
Cross-dressing. To dress, or be forcibly dressed, as a female.
The room in which sessions take place. Can also be called a Dungeon.
Clips, often metal, sometimes clothes pegs, which are attached to the nipples, or genitals.
The common kitchen wrap. Very effective when used in mummification games. See also 'Mummification'.
Worn to denote submissiveness or slavery to a particular Mistress.
The ceremony or ritual by which a submissive becomes bound to his or her Mistress. Collaring represents a serious commitment between the players and is not a part of casual play.
Cock Ring:
A ring made from metal, rubber or leather, worn round the base of the penis to control blood flow. A Cock Ring can either help sustain an erection, or prevent one if applied to a flaccid penis.
The technical term for scat games.
Corporal Punishment, CP:
"Punishment" by beating. The term CP sometimes implies a more vigorous beating than "spanking", but the two are often used interchangably.
The thing that jockeys use on horses. A well applied crop causes significant pain, and will leave marks, even when applied lightly.
Either metal or leather, and worn on the wrists and/or ankles as a method of restraint.
Involves being cut with a scalpel. See also "scarification".
Dildo play, Dildo Training:
A dildo is inserted into the rectum. There are various sizes, from finger size to enormous.
Dog Training:
You're the dog. Wear a collar and lead, eat and drink from a bowl on the floor, beg and bark.
A Male Dominant. C.f. "domme".
To be dominated by a Mistress. This includes obeying instructions, carrying out tasks, humiliation and being dominated generally. Domination, in its strictest definition, is largely psychological play and is distinct from "topping" which refers to physical S&M.
Domina, Domme, Dominant, Dominatrix:
Various alternative terms which may be used to describe a Mistress.
Most Mistresses refer to the room where they play as a dungeon. Some dungeons are decorated and equipped in the style of mediaeval torture chambers, but but the term covers any room equipped for BDSM. Q.v. "chamber".
This means that the scene will be taken to extreme limits; danger to health is implied. Edge play should only be contemplated by those experienced in BDSM. This is definitely not for the novice.
To be tortured or stimulated with a low-voltage electrical device, such as a 'Violet Wand', PES or a TENS unit. There are both dildo and catheter attachments which can deliver an internal electric shock. Electrical play is safe when done by a knowledgable mistress but very dangerous when done by an inexperienced dominant.
Lots of fun if you are into it. An enema is used to fill the colon with water or other liquid. Often used in medical scenes.
Many and varied. Whatever your fantasy, you can wager your pension that someone else, somewhere, has a similar fantasy. Some Mistresses will indulge your fantasies.
For a man to be dressed and often made-up as a female, either voluntarily or under duress.
Face Sitting:
To have your face sat upon by the Mistress. The details vary; some face-sitting is simply an expression of dominance; some is a part of breathing restriction games; some is explicitly sexual and the submissive is expected to perform cunnilingus on the Mistress. The last-named variant is common between lovers, but rare in professional BDSM; most professional Mistresses do not allow it and may be offended if a client asks for it.
Fetish, Fetishist:
Fetish is a term used to describe a specific area of interest, likewise a fetishist is one participates in those fetishes. There are probably a hundred or more activities which can be described as fetishes, but a representative example are those involving rubber, latex, PVC or leather.
A hand is inserted into the anus and then balled into a fist. The submissive needs to be experienced to receive a fist, and the Mistress skilled to perform it.
Foot Fetish or Worship:
To kiss or lick the feet of the Mistress.
A rubber, latex or leather multi-stranded whip.
Many kinds available, but are often ball gags, or penis-shaped gags. Sometimes inflatable.
Gates of Hell:
Leather or rubber device consisting of several straps which enclose and restrict the penis and testicles. Used as a male chastity device.
Golden Showers or G/S:
To be urinated upon. Occasionally referred to as Golden Wine or Golden Champagne. Q.v. "watersports".
Hard Sports:
Scat games.
Usually leather or rubber, worn by the submissive. The harness will sometimes restrict the movement of the arms.
Health and Safety:
This is a huge area. However, basically, only ever use equipment which has been sterilised if it is invasive. Tell the Mistress if you have any medical conditions - especially if cardio-vascular. Many Mistresses are happy to see those who are HIV+. Just tell her. Never play without a safe word. Always use a condom, even if the end result is auto-erotic. You know, all common sense stuff.
Hoods are usually rubber, leather, latex or PVC and totally enclose the head. There are many different types of hood, but some have gags or zips fitted to restrict vision and breathing. Very efficient when used as part of sensory deprivation games.
Human Toilet Training:
You're the toilet, and often restrained in a toilet box, whilst the mistress urinates or defecates on you. Toilet training usually implies that you receive the excrement in your mouth, as opposed to "showers" where the waste falls on your body.
Takes many forms, but is exactly what it says. To be humiliated forms a part of many scenes, and can be related to body shape or penis size, among other things.
Some Mistresses engage in hypno-play. You have to make your own mind up about getting into this, but it can be very exciting if the Mistress is an experienced practitioner.
Ice can be used very effectively as an instrument of torture.
See Adult Babies.
A type of role play - can be very intense. Interrogation may involve torture.
A love of enemas. Enema games.
Descriptive of any kind of whip.
Well, you can find hundreds of items of leather clothing and other ephemera on the web and in specialist shops.
Maid Training:
Wearing a maid's outfit. Cleaning, serving the Mistress and generally acting as a maid.
Most Mistresses will ask before marking you. Remember that even the lightest application of a whip or crop will leave marks which will be visible for anything from several hours to several days.
Medical Scenes:
Where the Mistress plays the role of doctor or nurse. Often involves the use of rectal exams, enemas and catheters. Occasionally, body-neutral fluids are injected under the skin.
The whole body is wrapped in clingfilm or other suitable wrapping, or enclosed in a body bag. Breathing is often controlled via a mouth or nose tube.
Nipple Torture, NT:
Any application of pain to the nipples. Clamps, of which there are many kinds, are often used.
Mistresses will expect absolute, unquestioning, obedience to their commands.
Oral Service:
Cunnilingus. Some Mistresses will allow you to do this. Most won't.
Prince Albert. A ring which pierces through the urethra and comes out of the underside of the penis. There are several piercing and modification sites where you can see photographic examples of the PA.
Panty Boys:
Those who like to wear female underwear, especially panties, as part of a scene.
Parachute-shaped rubber or leather attachment for the scrotum or penis. Weights are then placed in it to stretch the penis and testicles.
Pet Training:
To be trained as a dog, pony or other pet.
Either temporary or permanent. If temporary, needles are used and removed at the end of the scene. There are many kinds of body piercing which are permanent, including piercings to the genitalia and nipples.
To participate in a BDSM scene.
Pony Boys, Pony Girls, Pony Training:
This involves acting as a pony, pulling a small trailer with Mistress in. And guess where you wear the tail.
A liquid stimulant which is sniffed. Poppers act by increasing the heart rate and raising the blood pressure. They can intensify orgasm.
A Professional Dominatrix. Payment ("tribute") is expected for her sessions.
Prostate Milking:
A method of provoking ejaculation without touching the penis. The prostate is massaged internally, causing semen to leave the ampulla, a storage reservoir, and ejaculate. When used in conjunction with a chastity device and ice on the penis and testicles, the pleasure can be removed from the act of ejaculation leaving the male drained of semen and making enforced chastity much easier. An excellent article on this subject can be found here.
Real life. For example, where one has a real-life Mistress. Usually descriptive of a situation that is not fantasy, but reality. See 24/7.
Exactly the same as the Medieval torture instrument, but (we very much hope!) not used to the same extreme extent.
Restriction Games:
A part of the bondage scene. Often where breathing is restricted or controlled.
You both act out roles, teacher/pupil or nurse/patient for example. Usually, only the broad outlines are sketched out, and the Mistress runs and controls the play. Almost all BDSM involves some level of role-play.
Rubber, Latex, PVC:
Worn or used in scenes. It is possible to acquire a massive wardrobe of clothing and toys.
Safe, Sane, Consensual. What all your scenes should be.
St Andrew's Cross:
A diagonal cross upon which the submissive is tied.
Sadism and masochism.
Make sure you negotiate exactly where you want to go with the Mistress. Ensure that you fully explain your limits. No good Mistress will exceed your limits. See 'Safe-Word', below.
Any Mistress worth her salt will give you a safe-word before you start playing. Use of the word instantly stops play, and is used when your limits have been reached. Remember, fantasy is a long way from reality. You may not like what is being done to you. Never play without a safe-word.
To be cut and scarred. The scars are often stylised, and displayed in the same way as tattoos.
Oh well, people do it. Playing with excrement; being used as a toilet.
BDSM generally is referred to as 'The Scene'. 'To Scene' is to play BDSM games.
School Room:
Where schoolboy/schoolgirl/teacher scenes are played out, with the Mistress acting as the teacher.
Vaginal or oral sex may be the culmination of games played privately between couples, but it is rarely if ever part of professional domination. The vast majority of professional mistresses will not have sex of any kind with their clients, and will be angered by any suggestion that they should.
Sissy Boy, Sissification:
Much like Panty Boy, above. Sissification means enforced feminisation.
Slave, Slave-Slut:
Some Dominas will expect you to behave exactly like a slave. Slaves are often referred to as slave-sluts
The Mistress will exhale cigarette smoke, often into the filter tube of a gas mask worn by the sub. Any game involving cigarette or cigar smoke.
Snake Bite:
A rubber suction cup is applied to the skin. Be aware that it leaves a mark like a love-bite.
metal medical instrument which is inserted into the urethra. Occasionally, a lubricated cotton bud is used instead of a purpose made metal sound.
metal medical instrument which is used to open and expand the anus or vagina.
Spreader Bars:
A rigid bar attached to ankle or wrist cuffs. Designed to hold the legs or arms apart.
Strap-On, Strap-On Games:
The Mistress wears a latex penis strap-on and you are expected to receive it.
Submissive, Sub:
Mistress is the Dominant, you are the submissive.
Being hung up, or suspended, by the tied wrists, wrists and ankles or even feet.
A person who can 'switch' between being either a Dominant or a submissive. Switching is quite common amongst lifestyle Mistresses, but is rarely part of professional sessions.
TV, Transvestism:
Dressing like a member of the opposite sex, usually in a very convincing manner. The term TV, as opposed to cross-dresser or CD, is sometimes used specifically to indicate someone who gets fetishistic pleasure from dressing.
TENS Unit:
Battery powered device for delivering a low-voltage electric shock.
Toilet Box:
Laying on your back, a toilet box is a purpose-built box, with a toilet seat on top, which fits round the head. Mistress then sits on the box.
Top, Topping:
A domminant. "Topping" is sometimes used specifically to refer to physical S&M, as distinct from psychological domination.
Topping from the bottom:
Descriptive of a bottom who tries to run a scene from a submissive position. Nothing is more calculated to irritate a Mistress.
Generic term for activities which occur during a scene. Can be from mild to extreme.
The money that is paid to a Pro-Domme as a fee for a session.
Descriptive of people who are not active in the BDSM scene; e.g. "vanilla sex".
Violet Wand:
Low-voltage electrical device which produces static electricity. Used to torture and/or stimulate the penis, scrotum and anus.
Hot candle wax dripped on the body is an effective means of inflicting pain.
Watersports, WS:
The dominant urinates on the submissive. Watersports includes "golden showers" (q.v.) and may also include "toliet training" (q.v.).
Often attached to the penis, testicles or nipples to stretch them.
A free-spinning wheel to which the submissive is tied and rotated round. Sometimes called the Catherine Wheel.
Spare me the lash.
White Room:
As an addition to a dungeon, where medical and clinical games are played.