UKM - Thai massage - UK

Bjorn Brimble · 18-07-2023, 14:21

Anyone on here ever have these?

I tell you what get a good one and they're phenomenal. The things they can do! I feel amazing for days afterwards. I reckon there's loads of health benefits.

I'm talking about the legit ones of course. Strictly no funny business. You keep your undercrackers on for the duration.

Full hour Thai body massage followed then by head massage trust me it's f***ing bliss guys!

reefknot · 18-07-2023, 15:40

My girlfriend is Thai plenty of hot Thai curry, and plenty of funny business massages

posh-sub · 21-07-2023, 11:52

Way to go, Reefy!

ex nihilo · 23-07-2023, 20:09

On my first business trip to Bangkok, Thailand, I was a bit stiff after the flight and decided I needed to seek out a good massage. After checking in at the Dusit Thani and freshening up, I got on a Tuk Tuk and asked the driver to take me to a good massage establishment. After dropping me off at a recommended place, I walked in, to find a large number of young women sitting in a room behind a glass window, each of them wearing a number. On choosing a number, you could select from a menu card, as to the type of massage you required, with duration and price. The woman in charge complimented me on my choice, because the young woman I went for, was from Chiang Mai, where she said, the most beautiful Thai women come from. Full body sounded good, because my whole unit was pretty achy, after the flight. But, it turned out full body was more than just attending to all the stiff and achy parts from head to toe and the young woman definitely had some ‘funny business’ in mind, once I was all soapy. At one point, a fellow masseuse walked in and asked if I wanted to upgrade to a sandwich. I said nonchalantly, that I quite fancied a club, but would wait ’til I got back to the hotel. She brought me a Singha and said, 'I’m next door, if you change your mind.' I figured, you don’t want to go full monty on the first day, if you are going to be there for several days, but a few days later, a sandwich did have a certain appeal.

You seem to get away with a lot of ‘funny business’ behaviour, when you are carefree and single and the wider world is new. They call it sowing your wild oats and judgement is held in abeyance. We all need to progress and re-evaluate our values though, so that they become in line with social evolution. ’Ah, but I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now,’ needs to be the mantra...

Bjorn Brimble · 23-07-2023, 20:42

The establishment I visited was obviously legit. When I signed in I saw that nearly all the clients before me that day had been female.

I reckon there are clear health benefits of a proper full body Thai massage, it's not just about being soothed by a pretty Thai lady.

But would I be okay having exactly the same service from a Thai fella? Probably not IIBH. I doubt I'd be able to fully relax like I could with Rita. Magic.

Love the grub in SE Asia. Some of the nicest folk you'll ever meet too. Can feel a trip coming on when it's dry season. Vietnam, Laos, maybe Cambodia. Might give Bangkok a swerve if I can though. Not really for me.

Slutty Rimmer · 23-07-2023, 20:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bjorn Brimble

Love the grub in SE Asia. Some of the nicest folk you'll ever meet too. Can feel a trip coming on when it's dry season. Vietnam, Laos, maybe Cambodia. Might give Bangkok a swerve if I can though. Not really for me.

Long way to go for grub, rub, and a tug. There are plenty of perfectly good Thai restaurants and massage parlours in this country, with either funny or serious business on offer.

Unless you are going by sail then all that carbon getting released from the travelling will be difficult for somebody with a claimed climate conscience to justify*. Those days are over for those who really care.

Unless it’s baby oil they want us to just stop, in which case enjoy…but beware the friction burns !

Kind Regards,
Rimmer.

* Per passenger, a return flight from Manchester to Thailand is producing something upwards of the order of 2 tonnes of CO2. May as well just have a Thai Green Dolphin curry when you are over there and be done with it. Sod ‘em, clicky little grinning ball bothering fish guzzlers.

…dolphins that is, not the people.

ex nihilo · 24-07-2023, 08:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by Slutty Rimmer

Unless you are going by sail then all that carbon getting released from the travelling will be difficult for somebody with a claimed climate conscience to justify*. Those days are over for those who really care.

Kind Regards,
Rimmer.

* Per passenger, a return flight from Manchester to Thailand is producing something upwards of the order of 2 tonnes of CO2.

According to the ICAO (International Civil Aviation Organisation) carbon emissions calculator, the CO2 emission per passenger for a London (LHR) to Bangkok round trip flight is 832kg. The calculator does not have a Manchester to Bangkok option but substituting London for Manchester would have an insignificant effect on the result. The difference in flight miles being a mere 56.

CO2 Emissions per passenger consider the load factor and are based only on passenger operations (i.e., fuel burn associated with belly freight is not considered). ICEC incorporated complex and regularly updated databases on scheduled flights, passengers/cargo load factors and aircraft fuel burn.

The algorithm works as follows:

STEP 1: Estimation of the aircraft fuel burn
STEP 2: Calculation of the passengers' fuel burn based on a passenger/freight factor which is derived from Revenue Tonne Kilometre data
STEP 3: Calculate occupied seats (assumption: all aircraft are entirely configured with economic seats). Seat occupied = Total seats * Load Factor
STEP 4: CO2 emissions per passenger = (Passengers' fuel burn * 3.16) / Seat occupied

Bit different to your 2,000kg figure (which is 140% out.) Reckon you must have been doing your calculations on the back of one of Nigel Farage’s fag packets.

Please try and stick to proper maths and facts going forward...

Slutty Rimmer · 24-07-2023, 08:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by ex nihilo

According to the ICAO (International Civil Aviation Organisation) carbon emissions calculator, the CO2 emission per passenger for a London (LHR) to Bangkok round trip flight is 832kg. The calculator does not have a Manchester to Bangkok option but substituting London for Manchester would have an insignificant effect on the result. The difference in flight miles being a mere 56.

CO2 Emissions per passenger consider the load factor and are based only on passenger operations (i.e., fuel burn associated with belly freight is not considered). ICEC incorporated complex and regularly updated databases on scheduled flights, passengers/cargo load factors and aircraft fuel burn.

The algorithm works as follows:

STEP 1: Estimation of the aircraft fuel burn
STEP 2: Calculation of the passengers' fuel burn based on a passenger/freight factor which is derived from Revenue Tonne Kilometre data
STEP 3: Calculate occupied seats (assumption: all aircraft are entirely configured with economic seats). Seat occupied = Total seats * Load Factor
STEP 4: CO2 emissions per passenger = (Passengers' fuel burn * 3.16) / Seat occupied

Bit different to your 2,000kg figure (which is 140% out.) Reckon you must have been doing your calculations on the back of one of Nigel Farage’s fag packets.

Please try and stickproper maths and facts going forward...

In more detail…

The UK Department for Transport journey planner allocates 0.158 kg CO2 per passenger per km, which is equivalent to 134 kg CO2 per passenger per hour for a plane flying at 850 km per hour. This excludes 'radiative forcing'.

Manchester to Bangkok is approximately 9000km.

That comes out rather more than your mere 832kg.

Please stop trying to justify your eco-hypocrisy whilst jaunting around looking for an oily rub n tug in Thailand. You don’t really care about the environment either, other than to wear it as a luxury virtue.

Maybe stop at home and cheer yourself with a nice bit of pork pie…or a hot sandwich.

Kind Regards,
Rimmer.

ex nihilo · 24-07-2023, 09:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by Slutty Rimmer

Manchester to Bangkok is approximately 7000km.

Kind Regards,
Rimmer.

Manchester to Bangkok is actually 9642 km.

I don't think curved hyperspace has become a travel option yet.

Slutty Rimmer · 24-07-2023, 09:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by ex nihilo

Manchester to Bangkok is actually 9642 km.

I don't think curved hyperspace has become a travel option yet.

Which makes your eco-hypocrisy almost 38% greater.

Pork pie in your local Spoons for you this year, then off to your local Thai ‘rub n tug’.

Kind Regards,
Rimmer.

18-07-2023, 14:21	#1
Bjorn Brimble Banned Join Date: Apr 2019 Posts: 2,809 Reputation: -14	Thai massage Anyone on here ever have these? I tell you what get a good one and they're phenomenal. The things they can do! I feel amazing for days afterwards. I reckon there's loads of health benefits. I'm talking about the legit ones of course. Strictly no funny business. You keep your undercrackers on for the duration. Full hour Thai body massage followed then by head massage trust me it's f***ing bliss guys!

18-07-2023, 15:40	#2
reefknot Member Join Date: Feb 2022 Posts: 422 Reputation: -16	My girlfriend is Thai plenty of hot Thai curry, and plenty of funny business massages __________________ Nipple clamps are an essential accessory - acording to my Mistress To be anally retentive is the ability to hold a butt plug in

23-07-2023, 20:09	#4
ex nihilo Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 6,666 Reputation: 31	My Back Pages... On my first business trip to Bangkok, Thailand, I was a bit stiff after the flight and decided I needed to seek out a good massage. After checking in at the Dusit Thani and freshening up, I got on a Tuk Tuk and asked the driver to take me to a good massage establishment. After dropping me off at a recommended place, I walked in, to find a large number of young women sitting in a room behind a glass window, each of them wearing a number. On choosing a number, you could select from a menu card, as to the type of massage you required, with duration and price. The woman in charge complimented me on my choice, because the young woman I went for, was from Chiang Mai, where she said, the most beautiful Thai women come from. Full body sounded good, because my whole unit was pretty achy, after the flight. But, it turned out full body was more than just attending to all the stiff and achy parts from head to toe and the young woman definitely had some ‘funny business’ in mind, once I was all soapy. At one point, a fellow masseuse walked in and asked if I wanted to upgrade to a sandwich. I said nonchalantly, that I quite fancied a club, but would wait ’til I got back to the hotel. She brought me a Singha and said, 'I’m next door, if you change your mind.' I figured, you don’t want to go full monty on the first day, if you are going to be there for several days, but a few days later, a sandwich did have a certain appeal. You seem to get away with a lot of ‘funny business’ behaviour, when you are carefree and single and the wider world is new. They call it sowing your wild oats and judgement is held in abeyance. We all need to progress and re-evaluate our values though, so that they become in line with social evolution. ’Ah, but I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now,’ needs to be the mantra... __________________ “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.”

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21-07-2023, 11:52	#3
posh-sub Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Brighton Posts: 981 Reputation: 108	Way to go, Reefy!

23-07-2023, 20:42	#5
Bjorn Brimble Banned Join Date: Apr 2019 Posts: 2,809 Reputation: -14	The establishment I visited was obviously legit. When I signed in I saw that nearly all the clients before me that day had been female. I reckon there are clear health benefits of a proper full body Thai massage, it's not just about being soothed by a pretty Thai lady. But would I be okay having exactly the same service from a Thai fella? Probably not IIBH. I doubt I'd be able to fully relax like I could with Rita. Magic. Love the grub in SE Asia. Some of the nicest folk you'll ever meet too. Can feel a trip coming on when it's dry season. Vietnam, Laos, maybe Cambodia. Might give Bangkok a swerve if I can though. Not really for me.